THE NARCISSISTIC

THE NARCISSISTIC Self-centeredness is attempting to get personal recognition for yourself (especially by unacceptable means), i.e. Concern only for oneself, being engrossed in oneself and one's own affairs; in short being selfish. Self-centeredness is self-esteem and self-love gone too far. It means that the world revolves around us, we are at the center of our world, (some thing akin to the frog in the well, imagining that the well is the whole world and he is the king of it), and we think that we are better than anyone and everyone else and so are more deserving, in other words, selfish. In my conviction it is the most unappealing personality trait in a potential friend or partner. In my relationships with people very often, I have had to struggle to maintain a sense of compassion and understanding toward others. I have noticed that these self-centered people just don’t bother to take the time to understand another person’s point-of-view or feelings. Yes, I am honest enough to say that I am in touch with such people who are very well-known to me. These people who claim themselves to be the incarnation of Humanity, kindness, sympathy and whatever adjective or adverbs one may choose to say, but at the end of all these, comes something in BOLD - the sharpness of a tongue that can butcher anyone to shreds, a tongue that can maime anyone for life and huge amounts of Attitude. At the very first meeting such people are ever so kind and courteous, that it is hard to believe they play the part of Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. No one would believe if they were told the traits of these people. It takes time to know them at the personal level to believe what is being said about them. In time they do show their true colors: putting themselves first, only caring about their needs and wants, being unable to see another’s perspective, being uncaring of others. I do agree that there umpteen number of times when all of us have been behaving like one of those traits mentioned above and after realizing that, have gone out of our way to humbly apologize and be cautious about not repeating that behaviour again. But, the point is what sets the category of these self-centered people apart, is that they seem to behave this way all the time. They never feel guilty about it. They are so normal about it all the time. They can even go to the extent of lying to save their skin and prestige or manipulate the entire situation when they are caught to be on the defense. I feel bad that they are emotionally down in the dumps. They look so good to a novice talking to them. They are so charming that they could charm the birds off the trees, they look so intelligent that they could beat any intellectual egg-head hollow, but when they start talking they can piss you off really bad. They can put themselves in the centre of attention in any given situation. In family relations, these are the people who can be called the "I" specialists. They are those who have their 'I' s too close together. Regardless of what belongs to whom, they want to have each and everything that fancies their eye-sight. What is beyond reach to them ends up with a blasphemy. Their standard dialogue is: "It's mine and I want it!" When they have kids on their own, they treat their offspring like toys meant to satisfy their pride. Their children are healthy and beautiful, otherwise it would be a shame. They are smart, too, because they are like their parents. Kids are also used as pompous toys. They are programmed to stay "quiet" as long as parents are busy. They are given precise tasks (playing, doing homework,) because the adults do not have time for that. They are much more busy doing the social rounds, ( Kitty -Party, card-session, Beer Party, cutting Ribbons with a blunt Knife at the Inauguration Ceremony, etc, etc). In moments of frustration, parents need the affection of their neglected children. They need to be taken into account for all that has happened during the day. If you tell them you are feeling sick, they will end up narrating something more gross to you, that may or may not have happened to him/her at anytime during their life span. When people refuse to look into the eyes of the other it ends up in total isolation amongst people: they are left alone. Nobody wants a wet Blanket! I would like you readers to just sit down and reflect on a Quote that Mother Teresa would often quote: "People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway." I do agree with the sayings of the great American Civil Rights Leader, Martin Luther King, Jr. " Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."