SINGAPORE - I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE!!!

“SINGAPORE - I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE.”

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. a cheerful temper joined with innocence will make beauty attractive, knowledge delightful, and wit good-natured. It will lighten sickness, poverty, and affliction; convert ignorance into an amiable simplicity, and render deformity itself agreeable.

The above words are apt for a beautiful place like Singapore. It is the world’s most spoken about city with humble and very hard working people, which has mesmerized me all along. Right from the moment one steps out of the aircraft, he is greeted with warmth, affection,charm and courtesy. This is something I find it very difficult to find in my own country where smiling is a great pain.

Singapore’s arduous civic laws are enough to put even the worst idiot on this planet on high alert. To me, a stern discipline is as good as an order. He who has no taste for order, will be often wrong in his judgment, and seldom considerate or conscientious in his actions. When one looks at the very city from any angle, there is no word to stop praising it in the superlative. The climate the whole year round is scorching hot, with an equatorial climate. Yet, it is cool everywhere, with a lot of surplus greenery and the air crisp with freshness and no sign of pollution in any way whatsoever.

The real splendor of this charming city is its people. I wish the people of India learnt a thorough lesson from them, starting on how to stop wastage, how to recycle their brains (which forever is rotting with corruption), how best to utilize their spare time with hard work and last but not the least to develop in themselves the dignity of labor. The citizens of Singapore have a very broad outlook on life in general, a truly cosmopolitan group.

The administration is superb, unlike India where you are always left wondering why everything is under repair and when the next elections are going to be held in every state. A public transport or a taxi strike is never heard of in Singapore, unlike that in India. The reason is that every employee in any field is paid with a fairly good salary, enough to allow his family to live with dignity and honor. Corruption or crimes in any form is extinct. Try questioning any local citizen about their lineage or race. Pat comes the reply with pride on their lips, “ I am a Singaporean.” The sense of patriotism is written large on their faces. To them their government is their benefactor, one to whom they can always approach for any help without any hesitation.

The MRT system is very systematic, punctual to the dot and well-maintained. Passengers are greeted with a musical tone, “The train is coming, the train is coming.” Here, in India, passengers are greeted with, “The Mantri is coming, the Mantri is coming!” Even the ambulances with a near-to die patient is left in the traffic crowd, until the politician’s car is cleared. But, in Singapore, the very wail of the ambulance is enough to actually sideline all cars on the roads to make way for the ambulance to swiftly pass through. It is more like the entire system is running on a remote like in some 007 James Bond movie.

Cleanliness in Singapore needs a real pat on the back. The public toilets are sparkling clean. As for me, I would be honest enough to say that a dirty washroom always lands me with a severe constipation, in India.You are slapped with a fine if you are caught escaping without flushing. That brings to my mind - One would not find even the ordinary bird or a crow flying high ever dropping anything on the road. Even the birds seem to know that their droppings amount to pollution. In India, it is not just the birds, cows or dogs dropping on the streets but one can find even the Homo sapiens letting off without any trace of guilt or shame. I am sure many of you readers would jump at the opportunity to say that I am not being patriotic. The grass is always greener on the other side. I beg to differ. Things can be made more easy with a strict government on hand, who can take the administration with a no-nonsense attitude, coupled with honesty and a sense of integration in all respects. What is really required is simple logical reasoning in every sphere. What is rampant at the precise moment on the whole in our country is corruption, permeating in both the public and private sectors. Why cannot the Indian government decide on a zero-tolerance policy on corruption?

How often have we heard of the lokayuktha exposing a high level bureaucrat or a politician who has robbed the public purse. But, has anyone ever heard of him being chastised for his actions? Here, the common man is a silent spectator to the most corrupt human getting away with murder, saying it is quite normal to be corrupt. And the irony of it all is when he proclaims, “Mera Bharat Mahaan!” A stage has come when every common man in India has become contemptuous, simply because the government is turning a blind eye to his woes and miseries with a huge back log of unsolved cases pending in the courts for decades after decades.

One does not find these in Singapore. The government puts a firm brake on all such nonsense. Singapore government thinks twenty years ahead and then designs its policies. Here, in India, a newly appointed politician thinks from day one, how much he can pilfer from the public purse enough to see to the comforts of his family for the next twenty generations. No bureaucrat or any politician will come forward to take moral responsibility for his actions. He is never accountable for any wrong done on his part.

It is well-known to every tourist how educated the taxi drivers are in Singapore. There are many who are with high degrees from as good as Stanford University and have taken a break from their present jobs in the post of a CEO, only to rest themselves temporarily from tension and stress. How many CEO’s does one find in India who would skip their jobs , even temporarily to become taxi drivers? It is their ego that stops them and a failure of having the dignity of labor. They have a thorough knowledge of any given topic under the sun. You can rest assured that you will never get over-charged or cheated in any way with excess fare, in Singapore

Our government... teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the law-breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.

Why I Hate Lawyers...

Why I Hate Lawyers…. I am pained to reveal that in my opinion the Indian Judicial System is no longer as ethical as it used to be during my ancestor's times. The image of the Judiciary has been tarnished with countless allegations of corruption.

Experience has shown that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have in time and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. The sheer number of pending cases languishing in the Indian Judicial System gives enough reason to believe that corruption is rampant in the system. We have adjournments and inefficiencies which are perfect environment for middle-men to step in.

Our Judicial System is given to procrastinations, is highly exorbitant and beyond the reach of the common man, who finds it difficult to seek redress. He is at his wits end to have hard cash to oil the wheels of the system. You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, BUT you cannot fool all the people all the time. Right?

If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then I must say that we are a sorry lot indeed! In matters of truth and justice, there is no difference between large and small problems, for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same. There are cases where the accused were powerful enough to subvert justice. The manner in which these cases are handled is a blot on our investigating and judicial agencies. Those who commit crimes have repeatedly and audaciously used their influence and political clout to subvert justice.

Crimes against women in India are rising faster than any other crime. What is degenerating is that investigation of anti-women offenders is more protracted than most others. These cases of crime against women are never in the priority list of any investigating agencies. Delayed investigation and justice, not only frustrates the victim but also provides an opportunity to the accused to use his clout in influencing the investigation. Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced.

Citing an example, "JUSTICE ELUDES A WIDOW FOR 38 YEARS ( The Times Of India, 02/01/2010). Lalitha Devi kept running from pillar to post for getting her family pension and other benefits due to her after her husband's death. She had even petitioned the Ex-President APJ Abdul Kalam and the Prime Minister, but to no avail. She was turned away on some pretext or the other. The common man begins to lose the meaning in life when he has nothing to survive on. It is a bad society that forces a woman to go from door to door for Justice. The victim is harassed instead of the accused. No one is accountable to anybody. Judges are happy adjourning the cases even when cases are waiting for judgment orders.

Contempt of Court is invoked when someone acts in a way that scandalizes the authority or lowers the dignity of a Court or interferes in the due course of a Judicial Proceeding or in the administration of Justice. Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses that are thick-skinned, short sighted and are always ready to charge. It is their profession to disguise matters at all levels. The trouble with the legal profession is that 98% of its members give the rest a bad name. The trouble with the laws these days is that criminals know their rights better than their wrongs.

What is beyond my understanding is that the Bar Associations do not act against corrupt members! Why cannot a proper code of conduct be followed by the lawyers? We should have a public body that can keep an eye on the Judicial System and a Third eye exclusively on corrupt lawyers. It should be made mandatory that corrupt lawyers will have no place in the system.

The need to be incorruptible and maintain the moral integrity of the institution should be highly emphasized. This is fundamental to sustain the people's trust in the judiciary. Should the institution be corrupt, the common man will become cynical which in turn, will jeopardize the social order.

My Case has been grounded for more than a decade, waiting for the judgment order. Judges come and go on transfers like its a picnic for them. Each trip to the Court has impoverished me further. If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of lawyers in the first place. Our laws don't give our criminals much punishment, but they sure give them plenty of publicity.

The vices of the rich and great are mistaken for error; and those of the poor and lowly for crimes. The houses of lawyers are roofed with the skins of litigants.

An example of lawyers being corrupt: (The Times Of India, 8th July, 2010). A lawyer was arrested by officials of the Special Operation Wing of the Pune Crime Branch for allegedly forging government documents and fake stamps. So, how must the common man react when he places his entire trust, confidence and his life in the hands of his lawyer?

Being a citizen of a country like India which has vast patience and a high degree of tolerance for any difficult conditions that I face daily, I have all my dreams shattered due to the lack of inaction on the part of the bureaucracy. We have all the bigwigs in the government ensuring that their names and images remain untarnished, when they very well know that it is their responsibility and because they feed in the corrupt and oppressive political systems, we have so many cases of red-tapeism in every nook and corner.

I am least concerned with what my lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason and Justice tells me I ought to do. Our government teaches the whole people by it's example. If the government becomes the law-breaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy.

People involved in corruption think that they can walk away free and no one can put them on trial, simply because they think that they are above the law in all respects. There is definitely a nexus between the corrupt members of Judiciary, the government and the powerful and influential sections of society who contrive to make gains for themselves. It is disheartening to state that there is a constant erosion of ethics in the Judicial System.

The common man is reduced to thinking in a manner as to, "How can the Judiciary remain honest when the people coming into it hail from the same society, which has it's existence on the grounds of corruption?"

As quoted by Robert Ingersoll, "Every crime is born of necessity. If you want less crime, you must change the conditions. Poverty makes crime. Want, Rags, Crusts, Misfortune - all these awake the weird beast in a man, and finally he takes and takes contrary to law, and becomes a criminal. And what do you do with him? You punish him. Why not punish a man for having consumption? The time will come when you will see that, that is just as logical. What do you do with the criminal? You send him to the Penitentiary. Is he made better? WORSE! The first thing you do is to try to trample out his manhood, by putting an indignity upon him. You mark him. You put him in stripes. At night you put him in darkness. His feeling for revenge grows. You make a wild beast of him and he comes out of that place branded in body and soul, and then you won't let him reform if he wants to."

The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every other calling, is diligence. Leave nothing for tomorrow, which can be done to-day. Unfortunately, our Judicial System does not work that way. They love accumulating Cases for decades. How often have I come across people advising me, "If you don't get a lawyer who knows law then get the one who knows the Judge."

Caring For The Elderly

CARING FOR THE ELDERLY

Caring for the elderly has many aspects and is very often fervently abstruse for the person who looks after them. It requires that amnesty be offered whole-heartedly and all past painful memories be dealt with empathy and diplomacy, akin to handling an infant's emotional needs. Here what counts is the provision for quality care.

Caring often involves providing a home with warmth and security, helping in handling the financial responsibilities, dealing with mental health related to aging such as dementia, meet their socialization needs, and help in making the right decisions with honesty and integrity.

How do I shoulder these responsibilities that are ever so prodigious? I care for my mother who is pretty old physically but very young at heart and in mind, without a single break, knowing that it is very tedious and that sometime I too need a break from the heavy demands.

So, I rely on the Almighty for cogency. I pray hard to get through each day and take life one day at a time. I do not know what tomorrow has in store for me! Praying gives me some measure of comfort. My prayer is to ask the good Lord to guide me in ways to keep my mother as comfortable as possible as even now at this ripe age she is very fussy about practically everything under the sun.

For breakfast if dosas are served ( Pan-cakes), the crisp smell finds her asking for three dosas to be served, but she ends up eating only two. Normally we don't have a third helping, so it is always me at the end having the extra left-overs as mom hates food being wasted. Do I have a choice? So, I pray, "Oh God, please let her ask for only two doses the next time." When the next time eventually comes she does a somersault and eats only one dosa.

Agreed, caring for my mother is an herculean and exhausting task that requires patience, tact and lots of love. One slight harsh word by the slip of anyone's tongue or a raised voice results in her moving into the solitude. Yes, it is a full-time job. She is not safe to be left alone as she is highly accident prone. She either dozes off with something left to cook on the stove, resulting in the kitchen going up in smoke or she is found doing some acrobatics with the smoothness of the floored tiles in the house. So, if I have to go anywhere to meet my friends I have to tag her along with me.

But, she is great company for a lively conversation or a good debate on politics. Given any hot topic, she can keep anyone enraptured for eternity. She misses my brother a lot. It is at this time that I assure her that I am there to support her emotionally and solve her never-ending problems.

There are times when she has weird dreams of thieves and getting lost in some unknown island. One dream that she is a victim of, often is of a thief grappling her neck k for her gold chain. In the stillness of the dark eerie night when I am deeply immersed with a thriller novel, I hear a mind b lowing scream," EEEE……AAAH…!" For a moment, I suspect the character in my novel coming to life, but on close observation I find that it is my mom in her sub-conscious state, wailing away to glory.

When I wake her to find what happened that is another melodrama in store for me. With a jolt she is off the bed in a fit, "Who, Where, What is the noise about?" Then she stops short and in a mournful voice says, "That thief…" I begin to wonder if mom has a date with some thief in her dreams. Poor Mom!

Whatever the ups and downs in life I have been facing in looking after her and the heavy pressures I have been going through, I must say that her presence in the family does contribute greatly to the environment thus enriching the essence and spirit of existence. Most of the time I have noticed that she never airs her problems for fear of getting hurt. On close scrutiny, I find that she has the fear of being insecure or that she might be banished to some old-age home.

I regret such a thought ever coming to anyone's head. I find that totally inhumane. Our parents, right from the moment we have come into this world, have sacrificed so much for us in their life-span, nurtured us with the very best things that life has to offer, spent so many sleepless nights only to fulfill our aspirations and give us the comforts. Isn't it but humane to return that same gratitude now that they are old, feeble and helpless?

There are times when I go out for errands without her company and end up coming home much later than expected. I am quick to notice the distraught look on her face that says, "Where have you been so long?" Loneliness is indeed very unsettling for her. Innumerable times she has voiced her appreciation to me just for being there when she needs me the most. Times when her near and dear ones have refused to help her in any way. She is the happiest and at peace when I am at home.

My Perspective of People and their Behavior:

I have often come across people whose actions and behaviors have left me speechless. I guess that it is our own past which has made us what we are. We are the children of our own deeds. Conduct has created character; acts have grown into habits, each year has pressed into us a deeper moral print; the lives we have led have left us such as we are to-day. I've realized that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences we've had and what we've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays we've celebrated.

How often have we stopped to think that sometimes the people we expect to kick us when we are down may be the ones to help us get up. Our life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know us. I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. So, I decided to pen my thoughts to all you readers about what I really feel deep inside me. You may or may not agree with me on many of the points that I put across in writing. Well, but that is how I look at anything from my perspective. The paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

Going across the newspapers I come across enough number of our politicians, bureaucrats and would-be statesmen in the near future, trying their best to put their names in the front pages of the top Newspapers. They start with donating their hoarded treasures to temples, in the name of religion when in reality there are scores of people who are below the poverty line, looking forward to someone who can earnestly help them with some funds for their heart transplant, or a major operation.

I would like to know what is the point in showering God with so much of wealth when he has unaccountable prosperity to himself? God does not want anyone to give him these. I am sure this is one way of escaping the Income-Tax sleuths from plundering their homes. There are people who want to build silver and gold doors for the famous Balaji Temples, then a diamond crown for Shirdi Sai Baba. Where has the sense of helping the mass of humanity gone from these people's minds? I am ashamed to say that this happens in a developing country like India.

I travel by the local bus most of the times. One fine day I sat by the window seat and from a distance I heard the wail of the ambulance signal. Most of the car drivers in India turn a deaf ear to the pleas. Either it is a minister going on his rounds that has caused a traffic Jam or it is just that people have this "Don't Care" attitude. The wails began coming closer and it so happened that it was just out my window seat. I peered to see what was stopping the ambulance from moving further. The sight that caught my eye got my blood boiling. I requested my bus driver to wait a while until I boarded the bus. Being kind enough he agreed. I alighted from the bus and began screaming at the problem in hand. One of the car drivers was talking on his mobile and had parked his car in a way that had blocked the ambulance. My screams were enough to give a boost to all the co-passengers in my bus. Eventually he had to move to the side.

What little time did the precious life in the ambulance ever have? How come, people are so inhuman? This is incredible INDIA!!! I know each one of you, reading this, must be feeling the same way too well, you feel tired of everything, overwhelmed and helpless. You may be going through such trying times, you feel blinded. I sat down in the bus and decided for myself...If ever there was a time to pray, this is it. Prayer changes things and belief in God can and will hold you up in such an amazing way when nothing else seems to work. I prayed for the person in the ambulance.

I wish people showed some compassion. We are all connected. When we listen to each other and agree to disagree, when we show compassion and help each other out, we grow as a person, a city, a nation into an amazing world. As human beings we each have a unique and grand contribution to make to this world if only we are able to see and accept it ourselves.

I would like to share a few observations with all you readers:

I live in a Nation:
where Pizza reaches home faster than Ambulance & police,

Where you get car loan @ 5% ON THE SPOT and education loan @ 12%, AFTER UMPTEEN NUMBER OF VERIFICATION.

Where rice is Rs 40/- per kg but SIM card is free,

Where a millionaire can buy a cricket team instead of donating the money to any charity,

Where the footwear, we wea, are sold in AC showrooms, but vegetables, that we eat, are sold on the footpath,

Where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous,

Where we make lemon juices with artificial flavours and dish wash liquids with real lemon.

Where people are standing at tea stalls reading an article about child labour from a newspaper and say,"yaar bachhonse kaam karvane wale ko to phansi par chadha dena chahiye" and then they shout "Oye chhotu 2 chaii laao....." [Guys, those who make children labour, should be hanged, and the next minute they are the ones who shout "Hey Kid, get me two cups of tea."]

INCREDIBLE INDIA!!!!!
So, Readers you know how Incredible is INDIA!!!

How I fell in Love with the Internet...

The first time my children were gifted with a Desk-top Computer, the excitement was beyond any explanation. It was written all over their faces. Each of them had a list of what could be done with the Computer, what could be achieved, and how they could pass time with the hours during the vacations.

Priority lay in the educational benefits from the Computer. A lot of Projects could be easily handled with the quick information on any subject that was given as Home-work.

It was at this stage that my children slowly asked me to join their bandwagon, in becoming a Netizen. My first reaction was, "God, Please help me. I do not want to goof in front of my children." They were too smart in Internet compared to me. I always found ways of excusing myself when it came to learning something new, just out of fear of landing straight on my face.

It was with grit and determination that my children finally caught me one fine day to teach me how to get the the Internet started. From then on, there was no looking back. My curiosity was beyond my imagination. Slowly my interest in the soap operas on the idiot box was a gone era. I began spending more time browsing on the net, learning new subjects, gathering information on just anything that my mind was open to.

I began inter-acting with people from all over the world, the young and the old. My joy knew no bounds. Today, I just cannot stay without spending a few hours on the Net. So, when our cable operator began harassing us with the Internet connections, all hell let loose! He never did understand the importance of people using the Net, but made it sure to collect the monthly payment from the subscribers promptly.

It was then that we decided to call it a day! Enough was enough! One fine day my daughter with the permission of the elders in the family, dis-connected all the connections of the Internet from the private operator, booked for the BSNL broadband and today, we are indeed very much at peace with the Internet.

I must thank my brother for gifting us the Computer in the first place then thank my children for making me a super-mom and lastly I should thank myself for being bold enough to come forward in learning at this age.

The Different Acts of Mercy

Mahatma Gandhiji once said: " All life the flesh exists by some violence. Hence the highest religion has been defined by a negative word, Ahimsa. The world is bound in a chain of destruction. In other words, violence is an inherent necessity for life in the body. That is why a votary of Ahimsa always prays for ultimate deliverance from the bondage of the flesh."

In India, Ahimsa is one of the most cardinal virtues and doctrines of almost all the religions and philosophical sects. It had been repeatedly taught and expressly stated by the Rishis in the ancient scriptures, such as the Aitreya Brahmana, the Satapatha Brahmana, the Chandogya Upanishad, the Vamana Purana and Manu's Book of Law. Therefore it was thus declared in the
Mahabharata that "Ahimsa is the supreme Religion." And Gandhiji did recite the same words on several occasions.

In Christianity, we have two sets of these works, the Corporal Works (or Acts) of Mercy, relating to material needs of others, and Spiritual Works (or Acts) of Mercy, that are oriented toward the soul.

Corporal Works of Mercy are those that tend to bodily needs. They are the criteria by which Christ will judge people. Those who have done these good deeds will go to Heaven: those who have failed to do them will end up in the fires of Hell. The Seven Corporal Works of Mercy should not be confused with the Seven Virtues (Faith, Hope, Charity, Fortitude, Temperance, Justice and Prudence).

1. Feed the hungry
2. Give drink to the thirsty
3. Clothe the naked
4. Shelter the homeless
5. Visit the sick
6. Visit the imprisoned
7. Bury the dead

In the Spiritual works of mercy, not everyone is considered capable or obligated to perform the first three spiritual works of mercy if they do not have proper tact, knowledge or training to do so. The last four are considered to be the obligation of all people without condition.

1. Instruct OR teach the ignorant.
2. Counsel the doubtful and the Needy;
3. Admonish OR Chastise the sinners;
4. Comfort the sorrowful and Bear the wrongs patiently;
5. Forgive offences of the enemies willingly And injuries done to us;
6. Suffer Tribulation and Comfort the afflicted;
7. Pray for the living and the dead fervently.

It was obviously important to know the details of the good deeds that would merit a place in Heaven. Teaching about the Works of Mercy also highlights the important role accorded to charitable deeds in the late medieval church. The recipients of charity had a moral obligation to pray for those who had helped them. God favoured the poor, and those who were wealthy were expected to spend their money in recruiting these supernatural advocates.

One particularly powerful form of Penance, is to perform one of the Acts of Mercy. These bestow blessings and open us to grace whenever we do them. Use them to strengthen the soul whenever you sin, turning to the Holy Spirit, and asking for His grace to come upon you. With Grace comes strengthened Faith, Faith that strengthens your soul, and from Faith, these works will come to flow naturally from you, in time. Jesus said a person will reap what they sow. How very true it is everywhere!

According to the law of karma, every virtuous act is rewarded and every sinful act is punished in an inexorable manner similar to the laws of physics. The punishments and rewards might happen in this life or in subsequent lives but they WILL happen. There is no process of repentance or forgiveness that can affect the inevitability of the punishments and rewards.’ Even in the Hindu scriptures the law of karma is not in full control. According to the strict law of
karma, there is no scope for expiation or repentance, as everyone has to experience the consequences of their sinful actions for the sin to be destroyed.

The more a man of his own accord declares the wrong that he has done, the more he is freed from that wrong like a snake from his skin.’ In the devotional bhakti traditions, the repetition of the divine name, often on a rosary (japa), was the most popular way of wiping out wrong-doing and its effects. In the Bhagavad Gita, repentance born of love and faith wipes away all sin and no
one who comes to God with a humble heart fails to win salvation. ‘No one who worships me with loyalty-and-love is lost to Me’, says Lord Krishna.

In my opinion, bad actions corrupt the character and these people bring judgement upon themselves. People who tell a lie often have to tell more lies to cover up the original untruth. In school days we were quite young to understand the meaning of forgiving and very often we would repeat, " I shall never forgive." To which our teacher would reply softly, "Then I hope, ladies, you never sin."

The sayings of Mahatma Gandhi is so very apt these days: " I remember that all through history, the way of truth and Love has always won, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall."

THE OFFICE OF THE "R & D" SECTION IN MY HOME

I have two canines, a cross-breed of a dobermann and a Mutt, and honestly, they are the most adorable ones that any dog lover could ever dream of. I have named them as Rinky & Dinky. My children have termed them even more scientific as "Research & Development" If I was their student, I am sure they would readily teach me a few quick rules which ought not to be forgotten, and I came across this rule of thumb, which I would like to share with each one of you:

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.
Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
Take naps and always stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close and nuzzle them gently.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

People are whimsical and at times very philistine, relationships tend to dwindle, children relocate, but your dog - well, your dog is sincere to his last breath. Your dog trusts you to feed him, pamper him, pet him, play with him and treat him well. In return he gives you his unconditional love, his devotion, love and protection. His heart and soul is yours and that is his gift to you. In return your gift to him is to uphold them. There are people in your life, your family who are really special to you in some way or the other.

Have you ever let them down in any way? If you have been bitter to any of them in any way, then you must consider your dog's approach to such a situation. I have seen humans behave in the most inscrutable way. They are so concerned about their appearances, they keep sizing people all the time, at times they forget they behave worse than pseudos. In short they are
real sychophants. But for dogs all this is silly. Appearances are not that important. They are only interested in judging people by their sense of smell. Dogs are so good at openly showing their affections.

My dogs show their happiness with open excitement. That tail of theirs never stops wagging, it must be at least twenty times per second, to be on the safe side. When they listen to our conversation, I know from their expression, what they think, "Oh shit, what a PJ! Don't you have anything better to talk about?" I have seen a look in their eyes, a prompt dispersing, stupefying look that reads something like, "Humans are real Nuts!"

When my mom sits watching the soaps on the television, they get irritated. The reason? She keeps crying at the most stupid serial one can watch. In India, we have a lot of sob serials and they really make you run for cover. My dogs keep wondering, "why do they air such stupid stories in the first place?"

When I feel really down in the dumps at times, which is very rare, my dogs are quick to notice it. They are behind me all the time. Now comes the job of Research And Development from their side. They will not stop to find out what is bugging me. And when I notice that they are giving me a scrutinized look which can be worse than the eye of Sherlock Holmes, I get at them, " What is it you are after?" The elder of the twins will give a low whine, "I know, You are hiding something. Out with it!" If nothing works then they have their heads on my lap, with a lugubrious look. There is nothing I can hold back then. A big nuzzle is what they deserve and that is what can satiate them. They then turn really obstreperous!

Patience is something I learned from my dogs. We humans hardly ever have that in our system. Try foregoing one meal a day and the humans are capable of turning the world upside down, but dogs have tremendous power of patience, trying to understand the circumstances for their starvation. They are known for their allegiance towards their owners without any rancor. They will never bilk or forsake you under any circumstances.

They are complaisant to any given condition of environment. They are persistent to the core. Their attitude is to never give up. That is another of the lessons I have learnt from them. They can teach anyone on safe guarding their personal property. If we have guests with children, and they happen to lay their hands on their toys, or getting too close to be friendly, the next moment they have their hair on their neck standing at ends like the Porcupine standing in defense. So, we humans ought to learn from this: If someone gets too close to you, even if it is just for flirting, show them some of your fangs.

Their discernment about people is something amazing and blatant. There was this particular grocery boy who was regularly delivering the provisions to our home. From day one, as far as I can remember both my canines never took to liking him. It was a virtual lambaste from their end. That guy looked so very innocent, until one day, he was caught in their net, stealing the paper weight from the centre table. Nothing can stop the vicious grip if caught. His shriek brought all of us to see what happened. He was forced to tell us that he was trying to steal the object of his fancy. That was the last time he was ever seen on his job as a delivery boy. So, they do tend to be belligerent when the need arises. So, entry to our home is only through the 'Check-Post.'

All in all they are very humble and polite. A simple hug or a kiss is enough to send them to raptures. These are little things that matter a lot and from which we can learn from them. When my son comes home, even if only for a short visit, it is a cause for celebration. They are very attached to my children as they miss them a lot. Dinky, the younger of the twins is most of the time very obdurate. She has her own logic about certain things in life and till today it is sad to say that I have never understood why she keeps whining even after handing her all that she has asked for, on a platter. My daughter often jokes, "Mom, give her a good kick on the ass then she'll stop whining." That can never come from me because I am too soft for that, especially
towards children and animals.

They are both very feminine. They love good perfumes, and have a keen aesthetic sense. Yes, they do cringe at the very first instance in making friends. They need time to warm up, and I feel they are always on the low gear. That gear never changes to the top, until and unless the person at the other end is really striking to look at, somewhat breath-taking, that can cause a thunder in their hearts. Then it is in top gear and nothing can stop them.

As cited by Jerome. K. Jerome, " They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation." Well every dog has his day!

WHEN MEN SEEK SEXUAL GRATIFICATION

Rape and Molestation is fast becoming a very common means of recreation for the men in India. A land once considered to be the most religious, where women are respected and placed on a high pedestal, the epitome of Modesty and Veneration.

At the beginning of the day, I sit down to enjoy my morning cup of fresh tea, and what do I see in bold letters?

That a young girl of twelve years was continuously raped for a span of One and a half years by nobody else but her cousin, his friends and neighbors, at knife - point. Why is it that they do not see the pain and damage they're doing to someone. This poor girl was left at the tender age of nine months by her parents who divorced and got remarried and went about their own lives, leaving the toddler with her aunt. It is beyond my understanding how in the first place the biological parents could just abandon their child at this age. Are they not aware of their moral responsibilities? Why did they bring their child into this world then?

Is it because they wanted to have so much fun for the fifteen - twenty minutes that they did not realize what is the repercussion of their actions? Where has the sense of humanity gone from these people's minds?

What happens to such a story? Our Indian mentality is such that people just give lip-sympathy for a few moments, or the other worst thing that they are famous for is that the girl has a really bad character so she invited the guys to screw her. Am I right? In the very first place, I would like to ask you readers why is it that these hoodlums never thought of stripping their mothers or their sisters to just enlighten themselves about the female anatomy? Do they have the audacity to stand in front of the women folk in their homes and command the ladies, "C'mon, strip, (or rather) I wish to see you in your birthday suit!" Why not be prepared to get a black eye from their mothers or a smashing of their heads with the rolling pin for making such a shameless demand?

Next comes the crazy devilish idea of raping the foreign tourists in no other place but the beach or a hotel room. What is it that the Indian men go so crazy about a white skin to rape her or molest her? She is a woman like any other woman. Or is it that the act converts their skin texture to become white that is passed on to them from the raped woman? When will these men learn to stay away from such gruesome acts? I feel it is because many unemployed frustrated youth rape a woman belonging to an affluent class because of jealousy or revenge, not just lust. These people are just plain, hard - core, pedophiles, who just cannot be cured.

I keep reading news practically once in every two days about men in their sixties and seventies raping a child of six months or even less than that. What sort of sexual gratification are they looking for? Every time a man sees a woman, why is it that his mind is always on a One-Track, at full speed? The first thought that races in his mind is, "Hahn she will be really good in bed!" Why is it that no good thoughts come to that blasted head of his? To the best of my knowledge, whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Our indian laws are in no way helping the victims of Rape and Molestation. In courts their reputation are attacked if it is revealed that they were raped or molested. This makes them reluctant to complain against their assailant, which in turn encourages rape. The increase in rapes could also be because more women are coming forward with their complaints. Yes, I do understand that in some states in India, the police on its part is trying to sensitize it’s police force, and have conducted several sensitization programs to make those at lower levels understand that even a prostitute has feelings and has a right to say no.

I have lived in many metropolitan cities in India and I must say that I have come across men who are so sexually starved that you feel like pushing them to a pack of hungry hyenas. There are men who try to touch or brush past the women in crowded places, in the hope of grabbing a feel. There are scores of men I have seen exposing themselves at railway stations, bus stations and once even on a roadside where I had gone for a walk! These are termed as 'Sexual Perverts!" One may find such people in Temples, the most famous being the Udupi Krishna Temple, where cracks come just for the heck of pinching a woman's bottom. They seem to get a nice kick out of this act.

So we women have to take all these in our stride and accept it as a part and parcel of our Indian society. It is of no use complaining at the police Station. They do nothing and very often they are well-known to give statements such as " Such a thing has never happened before." The truth is that it has happened a number of times but no one dared to come and complain for fear of retaliation. What is our Law doing about all these sex maniacs? They are left on bail and then no sooner are they out, they wait for their next victim.

This is India, dear foreign tourists!!! In my opinion, all Rapists and Molesters should be executed. That would perhaps start the healing process. It is high time every man understands one fact and that is, that a woman is not just meant for sex or that she is readily available as and when he needs her.

Our Indian government should start taking more stringent measures to tackle such cases. Every Rapist or Molestor should be hung upside down from a public place and the public should be given the right to stone him to death. That will serve the purpose in the right manner.

Picking up the Pieces of One's Life

In my outlook on life, this means starting life afresh. I know this sounds very difficult for many who are reading this article, and their instant reaction would be, "Easier said than done!" How very true! But I feel we cannot keep our life stagnant due to something that is beyond one's expectatations. Right? The anguish is certainly very disastrous. It takes courage and a strong mind to get rid of those that have been tormenting and hurting a person's life, those memories that have sharp edges that can cut into one's memories repeatedly and create a void in one's thinking and thus hamper the routine in their daily life.

Yes, there are times when we have so many thoughts on our minds that are often conflicting, with so many questions for which answers cannot be provided and our thinking is just not straight. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get further in life. I feel that Prayer is the best soothing balm whenever one is given the opportunity. Prayer calms you down, alleviates the stress and helps you to see things more clearly.

I believe in making a committment to really work hard for things to happen in the right positive way. It is good to adapt the quality of having a Grand vision. When one chooses a vision that can enhance one's life, there is a feeling of fulfillment along the journey as one takes his steps towards that vision.

This is another Bill of Rights that each individual is gifted with and I feel confident just putting it into practical use:

1. You have the right to be you-the way you are. The way you want to be.

2. You have the right to grow, to change, to become, to strive, to reach for any goal, to be limited only by your degree of talent and amount of effort.

3. You have the right to privacy-in marriage, family, or any relationship or group-the right to keep a part your life secret, no matter how trivial or important, merely because you want it to be that way. You have the right to be alone part of each day, each week and each year to spend time with and on yourself.

4. You have the right to be loved and to love, to be accepted, cared for, and adored, and you have the right to fulfill that right.

5. You have the right to ask questions of anyone at anytime in any matter that effects your life, so long as it is your business to do so; and to be listened to and taken seriously.

6. You have the right to self-respect and to do everything you need to do to increase your self-esteem, so long as you hurt no one in doing so.

7. You have the right to be happy, to find something in the world that is meaningful and rewarding to you and that gives you a sense of completeness.

8. You have the right to be trusted and to trust and to be taken at your word. If you are wrong, you have the right to be given a chance to make a good if possible.

9. You have the right to change your mind.

10. You have the right to be free as long as you act responsibly and are mindful of the rights of others and of those obligations that you entered into freely.

11. You have the right to win, to succeed, to compete, to make plans, to see those plans fulfilled. To become the best you can possibly become.

12. You have a right to boundaries and limit, a right to be intentional, a right to choice.

I have very often considered the following facts and then sat down to count my blessings in solitude:

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep ... you are richer than 75% of people in this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church or other places of worship without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death ... you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare (and your parents too!).

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ... you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder ... you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

No soul is so desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence. One ought to make the best use of the circumstances. No one has everything, and Every one has something of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The only trick is to make the laughter outweigh the sad tears.

Why should anyone think that somehow they should be protected from misfortune that befalls other people? Disputes and conundrums arise when we let our neighbours and friends set our standards. Why cannot we be ourselves? In reality we are borrowing troubles into our lives. It is high time people realized that they stop holding post mortems. They spend their precious time brooding over sorrows or mistakes that are passed and end up as being people who never get over things. I believe that we should keep ourselves busy at all times over something, which can help us in having no time to be unhappy. There is a plethora of people all around us who are less fortunate than us, shouldn't we do something to help them?

As Thomas Edison quoted," Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." I am sure most of you do agree with the fact that, " what you do is God's gift to you. What you do with yourself is your gift to God."

I thank the Lord daily for several things. Even though the daily routine of my job is often very monotonous, yet I thank the Almighty for giving me the beautiful opportunity to work, when I know deep in my heart that there are many who have no job. Yes, my life is very hectic and there are times when things do not fall into place, tempers are short, my food gets over-cooked and my neighbours are real loud. It is then that I stop to think and thank God that at least I have a beautiful family, when out there in the world there are many who are orphans and very lonely.

The Computer Nerd's Ideal Woman

Dear friends, do share with me an article that I have just come across. This is the type of today's woman that Computer Nerds have classified into:

HARD-DISK Woman:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

EXCEL Woman:
They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Woman:
Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your

resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose
something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything....

I hope you enjoy her. Happy hunting!!!

The Presence of an Unknown Guest in the House

In the beginning, when I was in bed and all the lights were out, I'd hear noises in my room, like the squeaking of the bathroom door, windows being opened and then shut, though I always shut the windows by 6:00 p.m. It was as if somebody was very much at home even before we shifted into the apartment. Although it freaked me out, I just put up a brave front, keeping my two dogs in conversation, everytime they were with me. Sometimes I also get the feeling that someone is here. That I'm being watched or reading what I write in the blogs or in the mail. That again could just be a little paranoia though.

I was sitting at my desk with my PC. I began feeling cold spots on and off since I entered the bedroom. I told my mother all of these things, and she is not one to believe in spirits. Everytime I mentioned what was happening to me and my daughter, she would say, "I was living all alone these last few years, and I never felt anything." My mom is very spiritual, not that I and my daughter are not, but at times I feel my mom goes overboard in showing to all and sundry that she is easily accessible to have Tea with Lord Krishna, that is if he ever drinks Tea!!!

So, coming to that evening when I was working on my PC. My PC is placed right in front of the wall and to my left is the entrance to the bedroom. My two dogs were relaxing on the floor. We have a passage that is common to all the bedrooms and at that time of the evening, around 7:00pm, it was fairly dark. Mom as usual was watching the T.V. My daughter had still not come back from her work. All of a sudden, my two dogs began wagging their tails, in a manner that one greets a known person. At first I thought it was mom, but then why will mom play hide N seek in the passage, was my doubt. Even then, I continued with my job.

Next, Rinky, my dearest darling doggie, was excited. She has the rare ability of suddenly speaking like a human. She came up to me and said, "Amma", I nodded and said,"Yes, I am listening, go ahead." She was trying to gesture to me and say, "Look, someone is there". My instant reaction, thinking it was my mom was, "Whoever is out there, will you please come in and show me your face."

The next moment was something unbelievable. I heard a man's voice saying," I am standing right next to you." That freaked me out. I ran out of the room to my mom. I blurted, "Mom, he is in there." " Whom are you talking about?" asked mom. I looked petrified and said, "I really don't know!" My next reaction made mom burst into laughter. "I am sure he is watching me take my bath, oh shit, from tomorrow, no bath for me." She assured me I was imagining and that my imagination had gone wild.

The next few days nothing happened. Then one fine day, I began getting the smell of cologne. The very same one that my son uses. I barged into his room and checked his cupboard where he keeps his personal belongings. Everything was intact. Even then I began, "Please don't touch anything that belongs to my son. I am very possessive about my children, is that very clear?" The reply I got was a big bang from the door, being shut.

After that when I told my son, he too said, "Mom, it's all crap. I don't believe this." Surprisingly, everytime my son comes home on a vacation, this 'Smoky' as I have named him, is on his very best behaviour. My PC is working very fine, there is no hanging of any programs, no voltage fluctuations, all is fine.

Now, recently a strange thing happened. My daughter had a call from her office friend and as she was speaking, her friend at the other end was asking her, "Who is that man speaking next to you? I can hear him." My daughter replied that there was no man in the house at all. I was in the same room when I saw a dark shadow going out of the room. So, now we have decided to just allow the presence to be as it is. It is not harming us in any way. My dogs have more or less accepted him as a part of the family.

So, Readers, I heard that spirits and ghosts haunt those places where the residents have no faith in Gods and where Gods are not worshipped. I feel this is not true. Our family is very religious, something really Pious. The presence, for all we know, could be our Guardian Angel, there to protect us all the time. He might be standing right now behind me and having a hearty laugh. Good!!!

Mathematics Phobia

Readers, there is nothing to worry about this phobia. Maths is one subject where you have to have Patience in every step. Many children at some time in their school career are challenged by anxiety. Symptoms include stomachaches, nausea, fatigue, shaking, a racing heart and frequent trips to the toilet.

I guess I never had this problem when I first stepped into my school. To me everything was comfortable as I saw everything with a positive attitude. Even when I plugged in Mathematics exam, at the tender age of four years, I had the innocence of coming up to my parents and saying, "See, I have got the best marks in class ( 10 / 3, I had turned the marks upside down whilst addressing it to my Parents)." My parents would end up saying, "Oh God! Not again!" This with a flustered expression and both of them would put their hands up in despair. My best subjects were practically eveything one could ask for in the academic year, except of course, my greatest enemy - "Mathematics."

The problem was not with me, but in the way the teachers put the very attributes of this wondeful subject across that always had me running to the nearest wash-room on some pretext or the other. The whole class would strain their necks to see when I would leave the class-room the moment the bell rang for this particular period. I was never taught to take an interest in this subject, simply because either the teachers only came for the heck of getting remuneration for that one hour period or they never had the patience to bring the interest in candidates like me, or they would see to it that they would go at a tangent, or worse, they were scared about answering for all the baffling questions I would shoot at them.

In simpler language, they had not done their homework very well. At the age of five years, I just did not grasp the significance of this enigma, i.e. 2 + 2 = 4, 2 x 2 = 4, but 2 - 2 = 0. The end result was that, I was always made to kneel down in the corridor of our class, whenever the wash room was occupied, much to my mental agony. I had resigned to my fate of treating Mathematics as a subject that was Labyrinthine to me, beyond my understanding. Why do the teachers always make any particular subject so obfuscate that always ends up with the students in a state of Lachrymose?

In the remaining subjects, I was sharp and could teach most of my class mates, a new chapter ahead of the time period. That was amazing to my school Principal. Today, when I think of it, I wish I had Amir Khan in my school days, to come and help me out of this Mathematics problem. English was my favourite subject and I simply enjoyed listening to stories and writing short essays, when I was in class six. I remember a crazy thing I did once. We had a special species of a teacher who had the knack of pronouncing things in a very slurry manner. I was asked to read out a particular page to the entire class along with the punctuations, in line for them to jot down for their home study. All went fine, until the time came when the sentence had to end and I landed up saying, " Police Stop" for Full- Stop. ( At times, she would sound like, "Foolish Stop", but I thought it could not be that word). The teacher had in the interim period gone for a Meeting with the senior school Faculty.

The next day was the day of my martyrdom, when there was a line of Parents, outside the Principal's office, wanting an immediate explanation to the "Police Stop", in their ward's notebooks. The concerned teacher was summoned and as it happens in Private sector offices, the beating or the banging seems to pass from the top to the next officer in line. I was watching a lot of heads roll with the utmost innocence of any child at that age. I was asked to read the Para in the presence of the school Principal, and guess what came out of my innocent pouting lips? "Police Stop". When asked, " who taught you this?" I innocently pointed my little finger at the culprit in hand - My English Mme, who was snorting at me, with the look, "Just wait till I get you." But I had the audacity to stay put and not cower. This teacher was also very well-known for her harangue. That was the last time I saw the wash-room of that school.

I was bundled off to the next school and this time, my parents made sure that the school faculty was up to the mark. No problem! This was where I reigned like a queen, as I was being guided all along with the best incarnation of Sir Issac Newton, who made Mathematics look like a beautiful game to me. I stopped having nightmares of numbers and even "Police Stops", much to the relief of all at home. I began having a strong adulation to this teacher and to the subject. That was the year I was on cloud Nine, topping the class in Mathematics. My instant reaction was to run and hug my mathematics teacher.

As Bacon quoted: " Pure mathematics do remedy and cure many defects in the wit and faculties of individuals; for if the wit be dull, they sharpen it; if too wandering they fix it; if too inherent in the sense,they abstract it."

I was made to understand that the study of mathematics is like climbing up a steep and craggy mountain; when once you reach the top, it fully recompenses your trouble, by opening a fine, clear, and extensive prospect.

Mathematics cultivates the reason; that of the languages, at the same time, the reason and the taste. The former gives grasp and power to the mind; the latter both power and flexibility. The former, by itself, would prepare us for a state of certainties, which nowhere exists; the latter, for a state of probabilities, which is that of common life. Each, by itself, does but an imperfect work: in the union of both, is the best discipline for the mind, and the best mental training for the world as it is.

The Awakening...

The Awakening - By Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.

..........This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my "God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.

Steps on Installing a husband...

Dear Readers, I would like to share this particular solution on installing a husband with all of you...

INSTALLING HUSBAND
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0..

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5..0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
xxxxx

Reply

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1..0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5... However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam !

Dear Mother...

Dear Readers,

This is dedicated to your mother.....

Mother - Which one is Perfect Definition for Her?

Ma, Momma, Mom, Mother, Amma, Ammi.....

The only God you can see, believe me!
She gave you her savings,
to buy your bicycle.YOU rode with pride!

She gave you sweets,
On your first day to School. YOU enjoyed the whole!

She quarreled with her friend,
When you fought with her friend's kid;
to prove you innocent & gave up her friend. YOU cared less for her loss!

She cooked your favorite breakfast,
On your first day to Office. YOU became independent!

She blessed your love marriage,
When you came home married. YOU shared your love with your spouse!

She celebrated with happiness
on your first birthday. YOU ate the cake!

She jumped with joy,
When you first stood up
on your tender feet, YOU grew confident!

She was there every time you cried,
When you were a baby. YOU started growing!

She took you to the doctor,
When you were sick. YOU recovered your health!

She bought YOU new clothes,
Instead of a saree for herself. YOU showed off to your friends!

She's now old and lonely,
still thinking of YOU.
Remember! All that she had, she gave it to YOU.

Show your love before it is too late.

She waited at the door
On your first Salary day,
only to seek God's blessings. YOU already celebrated with your friends!

THINK, for a moment!
How much she sacrificed for YOU.
The agony & pain she went through
all the years.
It was for YOU, only for YOU.

Give her your time, a bit of your love
for that is all she desires.
Tell her that you love her and care her too.
She's with YOU, no matter where you are!!!

Love your mother, no matter what, you may never get another one like her anytime!

The Narcissistic

THE NARCISSISTIC

Self-centeredness is attempting to get personal recognition for yourself (especially by unacceptable means), i.e. Concern only for oneself, being engrossed in oneself and one's own affairs; in short being selfish.

Self-centeredness is self-esteem and self-love gone too far. It means that the world revolves around us, we are at the center of our world, (some thing akin to the frog in the well, imagining that the well is the whole world and he is the king of it), and we think that we are better than anyone and everyone else and so are more deserving, in other words, selfish.

In my conviction it is the most unappealing personality trait in a potential friend or partner. In my relationships with people very often, I have had to struggle to maintain a sense of compassion and understanding toward others. I have noticed that these self-centered people just don’t bother to take the time to understand another person’s point-of-view or feelings. Yes, I am honest enough to say that I am in touch with such people who are very well-known to me. These people who claim themselves to be the incarnation of Humanity, kindness, sympathy and whatever adjective or adverbs one may choose to say, but at the end of all these comes something in BOLD - the sharpness of a tongue that can butcher anyone to shreds, a tongue that can maime anyone for life and huge amounts of Attitude.

At the very first meeting such people are ever so kind and courteous, that it is hard to believe they play the part of Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. No one would believe if they were told the traits of these people. It takes time to know them at the personal level to believe what is being said about them. In time they do show their true colors: putting themselves first, only caring about their needs and wants, being unable to see another’s perspective, being uncaring of others. I do agree that there are umpteen number of times when all of us have been behaving like one of those traits mentioned above and after realizing that, have gone out of our way to humbly apologize and be cautious about not repeating that behaviour again. But, the point is what sets the category of these self-centered people apart is that they seem to behave this way all the time. They never feel guilty about it. They are so normal about it all the time.

They can even go to the extent of lying to save their skin and prestige or manipulate the entire situation when they are caught to be on the defense. I feel bad that they are emotionally down in the dumps. They look so good to a novice talking to them. They are so charming that they could charm the birds off the trees, they look so intelligent that they could beat any intellectual egg-head hollow, but when they start talking they can piss you off really bad. They can put themselves in the centre of attention in any given situation. In family relations, these are the people who can be called the "I" specialists. They are those who have their 'I' s too close together. Regardless of what belongs to whom, they want to have each and everything that fancies their eye-sight. What is beyond reach to them ends up with a blasphemy. Their
standard dialogue is: "It's mine and I want it!"

When they have kids on their own, they treat their offspring like toys meant to satisfy their pride. Their children are healthy and beautiful, otherwise it would be a shame. They are smart, too, because they are like their parents. Kids are also used as pompous toys. They are programmed to stay "quiet" as long as parents are busy. They are given precise tasks (playing, doing homework), because the adults do not have time for that. They are much more busy doing the social rounds, (Kitty -Party, card-session, Beer Party, cutting Ribbons with a blunt Knife at the Inauguration Ceremony, etc, etc). In moments of frustration, parents need the affection of their neglected children. They need to be taken into account for all that has happened during the day. If you tell them you are feeling sick, they will end up narrating something more gross to you, that may or may not have happened to him/her at anytime during their life span.

When people refuse to look into the eyes of the other it ends up in total isolation amongst people: they are left alone. Nobody wants a wet Blanket! I would like you readers to just sit down and reflect on a Quote that Mother Teresa would often quote:

"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway."

I do agree with the sayings of the great American Civil Rights Leader, Martin Luther King, Jr. " Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

Unconditional Acceptance

Dear Readers, here is a short story that I wish to share with each one of you. Please read on:

Unconditional Acceptance - Author : A mother of three

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile." The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway, so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch . . . an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body" smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentleman was his salvation. I held my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. ( If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm. ) Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you." I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me, Honey. To give me hope." We held hands for a moment and at that time we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She began to read and that is when I knew that we, as human beings and being part of God, share this need to heal people and be healed. In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my husband, son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student. I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn : UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS, NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE. If you think this story has touched you in any way, please send this to everyone you know. Here is an Angel sent to watch over you. In order for her to work, you must pass this on to the people you want watched
over.

I hope all of you were touched somewhere in some soft corner of your hearts. God Bless You!
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