If I could put the clock back...

Of all the joys that can brighten the suffering earth, what joy is welcomed like a new-born child? When I look back on my childhood I cannot help smiling and remember the good times we had. I remember my father singing along with the harmonium, all his favourite K.L.Saigal songs and my uncles would also join him soon after dinner. The song session would go on till late at night and the womenfolk of the house would sometimes join with them, serving them cups of tea. This would mostly occur during the week-ends. Sometimes it would take the rounds on Antakshari and we children would prompt our team just because we wanted to win, even if it was for fun. Dad's favourite song was,"Soja Rajkumari, Sojaa... sung by K.L.Saigal and I would eventually go into a deep slumber. Singing was a passion in our family. I do miss Mumbai a lot. That was one place where I really enjoyed my freedom. We often had family picnics where we could go for long drives, without the fear of any terrorist attacking us or even the fear of getting mugged like it is today, anywhere in India. I do miss the beautiful evenings in the rain getting drenched in the famous Juhu Beach, and at the same time eating Bhel puri, or Vada-Paav and then ending it with coconut water. As a child we enjoyed domestic happiness and bliss in our homes. It was my mother who took great pains to keep all of us happy, even though we had our ups and downs in our day-to-day lives. "A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home." A person is the happiest, be he a monarch or a simple peasant, who can find peace in his home. My mother would keep reminding us about the essentials for keeping the home warm and loving, which she terms it as six components that are requisite to create a "Happy Home." Integrity must be the architect, and tidiness the upholsterer. The warmth should come from affection, which can be lighted up with cheerfulness; and members in the family must be the ventilator, renewing the atmosphere and bringing in fresh salubrity day by day; while over all, as a protecting canopy and glory, nothing will suffice except the blessings of God. I slowly graduated into maidenhood. I remember all of us being a set of blushing beauties of a modest maid. I was a child no more; a maiden now; a graceful maiden, with a gentle brow, and a cheek tinged lightly, and a dove-like eye; and I could feel all the hearts blessing me, as I passed by. I was a bit more on the reserved side. Yet, in school we were academically head-strong and serious about what we wanted in our studies. Once the school time was over we were back to our usual pranks. I would keep humming the song from"Boot Polish - Nanne Munne bacche tere mutti mein kya hai", on my way back from school and it was a chorus from my peers. I miss my youth a lot. Compared to today's world, I find that children of this generation hardly have anytime to spend their childhood without racing. They hardly have any free time as there is so much of competition all around us. I believe that if a young man is loose in his principles and habits; if he lives without plan and without any object in life, spending his time in idleness and pleasure, there is more hope of a fool than of him. Every period of life has its peculiar temptations and dangers. But youth is the time when we are the most likely to be ensnared. This, pre-eminently, is the forming, fixing period, the spring season of disposition and habit; and it is during this season, more than any other, that the character assumes its permanent shape and color, and the young are wont to take their course for time and for eternity. I love the acquaintance of young people because, in the first place, I do not like to think myself growing old. In the second place, young acquaintances must last longest, if they do last; and then the young ones always have more virtue than the older folks; they have more generous sentiments in every respect. What could be more charming than a young boy before he has begun to cultivate his intellect? He is good to look at; he gives himself no airs; he understands the meaning of art and literature instinctively; he goes about enjoying his life and making other people also enjoy theirs. True liberty consists only in the power of doing what we ought to will, and in not being constrained to do what we ought not to will. In my consideration, Personal liberty is the paramount essential to human dignity and human happiness. There is so much good in the worst of all of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it becomes necessary for all of us not to talk about the rest of us. In today's youth I find that eighty per cent of our criminals come from unsympathetic homes. It is indeed a sad thing to say.

WHEN EVERYONE THINKS HIMSELF AS THE MOST INTELLIGENT FOOL

The very picture speaks volumes and I am writing this blog in the hope that I am able to put across my understanding to the readers.

The line that says: …while the other is still trying to enter India.  

Let me ask you one simple question on what each one is doing about the ones existing inside the country and who is right now breaking the country apart with his own illogical views and intelligence?

We have reports on Rape, child abuse, female abuse, crimes en masse, Murder, arson, bureaucrats and people in respectable positions who flout laws and regulations, the hoarders of food, illegal assets, currency and any innumerable crimes one can think of.

Are these not terrorists?  Are they not creating a fear, a feeling of insecurity in each and everyone’s mind about their survival, the survival of their loved ones?

Just try asking any female in a democratic country like India – “Do you feel safe in this country?”  Or try asking any parent with grown-up children or children of any age – Are you concerned about the safe arrival of your child back home once he/she is outside the home?  The reply is definitely: "I hope my loved ones come home safe and in one piece."  Does this pull your heart strings?

Try asking those people who have aged parents or single parents, (whom they have left back home and gone to work overseas) how safe are their parents?  And the ones who give you an answer that there is no problem are speaking ONE BIG LIE ON YOUR FACE!   I must say that these people have no conscience.  The conscience to accept responsibility of keeping their old parents with them, the ones who treat their parent as an extra baggage, just because they feel the parents now are a nuisance in their married life, the parent's influence is of the old school of thoughts which could hamper their children in the modern generation.

If that was the case, let me remind this set of youngsters, how about putting your newborn children in the orphanage, as you want to enjoy life.  Why isn’t this child a burden to you as much as looking after an old parent who has no support, no means of earning at the senile age and who has reached the twilight zone? You do not want to make even the slightest adjustments of your parent/s in your life, while they have done so many unaccountable ones for you?

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Did your parents throw you abandoned in a place, when you were young and helpless?  Have you lost your conscience?  Or should I say, with your high profile education (given by parents who slogged and sacrificed all that they had for your education) and certificates of merit, you acquired a high status of being on top of the world that you don’t realise the ones below your feet?  You forgot all that and are now sailing on cloud nine?  You must be a living moron with no morals and ethics!

Let us not concern about the ones who fake an answer and say – We are safe in this country!  I would say it’s downright crap.  The plain truth is that nobody is safe anywhere, anytime in this country today!  It is the question of “Who is next in the line of fire.” Or “Mera number kab aayega!”

And I am being very transparent on what I write here.  Please do not camouflage my statements as “It is all in your head.  You imagine too much.”  There are millions of people like me who go through tedious tasks daily with hope in their eyes for a better future.

The good actions that come from a handful of dedicated officers in any department are being snubbed and pushed under the carpet.  The whistle blowers are shot down or exterminated violently because nobody wants to hear the truth.  Hearing the truth from an honest person only results in getting back an answer such as “ listen with one ear and leave out with the other.  Do you want to live here, or not?”  Easier said than done.

People fight, argue and bicker on topics like Tolerance and Intolerance, Patriotism, and anything that sounds negative to their ears.  Actually how patriotic are you when you argue to the one who is downright transparent in voicing his grievance?   Have you any empathy towards that person who comes asking you for help?

Every report that is highlighted as breaking news only speaks of the politicians in the wrong.  Why cannot you leave them alone to do their jobs?    If each one of you is responsible as a true citizen and abide all the rules that are set, if you have the right mindset that thinks and acts constructively why should any problem arise, anywhere?

--> I constantly hear people around me hissing like a snake that they expect things like Transparency, Trust, and Honesty.  Let me be clear on this.  Before you put one of your goddamn ten commandments down the gullet and try forcing people to give you what you want, have you practiced these on yourself?  Or are you just preaching and screeching like a rotted parrot?  Where exactly does your credibility stand, right now when you demand from people around you?
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If you want people to give you all these, shouldn’t you be the first to do and show?  How perfect are you that you can usurp these from your elders, loved ones and anybody you come in contact with?  You want respect, then, you should learn to respect people around you, irrespective of age, background or education.  Hope you are not a racist.

 You begin treating people like trash just because they are less educated than you, then you need to be put in the right place.  The reason being that everyone isn’t as lucky as you to have a family that supports you, financially or on any point. You cannot judge people and make your own assumptions.  You might be the apple of the eye in your family, but are you a true responsible human in the society today?  As a human, what honestly counts on being a good citizen and how best can you sell yourself with a true conscience? When guilty, have you been accountable for your actions?

People in India and any developing country today are struggling for the basic requirements to live a decent life – Food, Shelter, Education, clothes and Security.  And all these are linked to finance.  You are dead without money, today. Agreed nothing comes free! What is it that creates an imbalance in the common man today? 

Why cannot the mindset be changed for positivity? 

So where are you in judging people in the negative with the points given above? Stop preaching and throwing your weight around as an intellectual egghead.   I know of abusers who control, manipulate and make you feel like you are the one with the problem.  And when one comes with a problem,  they are so cold towards them.

We all need to stand up, speak out and take back our lives.  It is only when each one of us learn to empathise, love each other and stop judging people, can we expect to live happily amongst each other. Why can't people be more compassionate?

Readers, I know I have been very blunt here.  I am pained at what I see that is occurring all around me on a daily basis.  The saddest part is that people have become so immune to all this and have stopped reacting.  I should say they have given up on life and expect us also to do the same. Sorry, I do not buy that!

To my children

TO MY CHILDREN 

100 WISE WORDS

You wish to have known earlier

An Econ teacher gave his senior high school

Students his personal list of wisest words…

And they make a lot of sense.

1.    There are plenty of ways to enter a pool.  The stairs is not one of them.

2.    Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3.    Don’t knock it until you try it.

4.    If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5.    Always use “we” when referring to your home team or your government.

6.    When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7.    DON’T underestimate free throws in a game of HORSE.

8.    Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9.    Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline.  Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girl/boyfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns.  Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it.  Even if it’s only once.

21.  Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good it is.

23.  A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25.  If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26.  If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.

28.  Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth.  Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29.  Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30.  When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31.  Eat lunch with the new kids.

32.  When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33.  It’s never too late for an apology.

34.  Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have a right of way, TAKE IT.

36.  You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37.  When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38.  Never push someone off a dock.

39.  Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she is pregnant.

40.  It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.

41.  Don’t make a scene.

42.  When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43.  Know when to ignore the camera.

44.  Never gloat.

45.  Invest in great luggage.

46.  Make time for your mom on your birthday, it’s her special day too.

47.  When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48.  Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49.  Give credit. Take Blame.

50.  Suck it up every now and again.

51.  Never be the last one in the pool.

52.  Don’t stare.

53.  Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54.  Stand up to bullies.  You’ll only have to do it once.

55.  If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56.  Admit it when you’re wrong.

57.  If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58.  Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59.  Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61.  Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63.  Don’t boo.  Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64.  Know how to cook one good meal.

65.  Learn to drive a stick shift.

66.  Be cool to younger kids.  Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67.  It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68.  Dance with your mother/father.

69.  Don’t lose your cool.  Especially at work.

70.  Always thank the host.

71.  If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72.  Know the size of your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes.

73.  There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74.  Be a good listener.  Don’t just take your turn to talk.

75.  Keep your word.

76.  In college always sit in the front.  You’ll stand out immediately.  Come grade time it might come in handy.

77.  Carry your mothers bags.  She carried you for 9 months.

78.  Be patient with airport security.  They are just doing their job.

79.  Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80.  The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81.  You are what you do.  Not what you say.

82.  Learn to change a tire.

83.  Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84.  An hour with grandparents is time well spent.  Ask for advice when you need it.

85.  Don’t litter.

86.  If you have sister, get to know her boyfriend.  Your opinion is important.

87.  You won’t always be the strongest or fastest.  But you can be the toughest.

88.  Never call someone before or after 9 AM and 9 PM.

89.  Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90.  Make the little things count.

91.  Always wear a bra at work.

92.  There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty.  Find it.

93.  You’re never too old to need your mom.

94.  Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date commit to keeping them on and toning down how much your feet kill.

95.  Know the words to your national anthem.

96.  Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of you is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97.  Smile at strangers.

98.  Make Goals.

99.  Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.