THE LEVELS THAT Some INDIAN HUSBANDS CAN GO TO TORTURE THEIR WIFE:
Here is a true story that I wish to narrate to all my friends. I may or may not be there some day to relate it . I believe that time waits for no man. This is the true story that a friend of mine, or should I say my soul-mate, has, and is undergoing the life that she had never ever imagined. She was the type who always dared to be different, a sort of pioneer and a leader or rather a trend-setter. She is the kind of woman who in the face of adversity would still walk fearlessly towards any challenges that life offered to her, always with a smile and positive vibrations running in every part of her system. She would go to the bottom-most level to seek the truth of any matter that disturbed her and one can be very sure that she was triumphant in all her endeavors.
She had a very middle class up-bringing. Her parents had instilled enough of discipline in her along with her other two siblings, to hold their heads high with pride, honesty and integrity. She was brought up to believe that Justice will always win and to be as enthusiastic about other's success as if it was her own. She was put in to one of the best convent schools for a proper and chaste moral discipline in most of the cosmopolitan cities that her parents were transferred to on their jobs. So it was natural that she was highly educated and had a very broad perspective on life.
Now, you must be wondering, so what is special about her? Right? Nothing, Only the fact that One person changed her whole life in a jiffy, a very neat and clean somersault to the depths of agony and torment which she is undergoing even today. I guess you would ask out of curiosity - "Who is this person?" Patience, my dear friends !!! It is none other than her husband. From day one, he began his calculative mind, preying on her youth, her chastity and chalking out devious means to pull her innocence down, in his overly enthusiastic lust and greed for power, fame and ignominy. He was the type who just could not bear the fact that someone could outsmart him or outshine him in any field. In fact she loved her husband just too much, trusted him to the core about just everything under the sun, placing him on top priority everytime, and never, ever stood as a competitor to her husband.
This reminds me of a quote by F.W. Robertson wherein he states that, " Marriage is not a union merely between two creatures - it is a union between two spirits; and the intention of that bond is to perfect the nature of both, by supplementing their deficiencies with the force of contrast, giving to each sex those excellencies in which it is naturally deficient; to the one, strength of character and firmness of moral will; to the other, sympathy, meekness, tenderness; and just so solemn and glorious as these ends are for which the union was intended, just so terrible are the consequences if it be perverted and abused; for there is no earthly relationship which has so much power to ennoble and to exalt. "
He began by first trying to isolate his family from her. Cooking up tales, spinning yarns that were absolutely not true, but fictitious, so that his siblings and parents drew themselves away from her, in very respect making her feel lonely, deprived of love and security. What does a new bride do under these circumstances in a traditional Hindu marriage? She does not need the support of any one else in the family other than her husband to whom she is betrothed to. When this is denied to her accessibility, what is left for her? Whom does she turn to? Where can she go?
His next target was his friends, colleagues and their spouses and children. He realized that she was friendly with them, as she wanted to inter-act with some one. She was the type to make friends easily because of her warm nature, and at first all were in awe of her attitude. The day their ears were filled by the husband, they too drifted away from her. So, you see how lonely can a man make a woman feel, after marriage. He made it a point that he will go to any length to make her as miserable as possible so that she would ultimately kill herself when driven against the wall. Not satiated with this act of a demon, he began asking his friends if they wanted a One-night stand with his wife. The hungry lumpens were just too eager for this chance. But the lady stood firm with her modesty and that was when she saw the night of brutal force and agony, from her husband. Only because she refused and dared to protect herself with her moral upbringing.
With help from a few friends on their guard, she was offered a job as a teacher in one of the convent schools, in the town where her husband worked. She was deprived of the basic amenities after marriage to run the family of two young children and herself, by her husband. So, it was natural that she sought this job with a meagre salary. She soon won the hearts of the children in that school and in time that of the staff. But even that was short-lived, as her husband made it mandatory that she be thrown out of her job, only because he declared to the school authorities that she was not looking after the house when he wanted her to. The truth of the fact was that he saw to it that she was in no way independent in any way, either financially, emotionally etc etc. He had a perverted mind to see that she would cling and come begging to him in every possible way for all her needs.
Tormenting her all along during the marital life became a daily routine that she had to face from dawn to dusk. She was accused of beating her children at home. The truth was realized before it could be rectified. She was driven to the point of saturation in running a home, (keeping it as good as the front cover of an International Home magazine), keeping her husband's friends, guests entertained, looking after her children's studies( no private tuitions), cooking, laundering, etc etc without employing any maid like most indian homes have these days. Her husband was a good officer in one of the best government companies, earning a fat salary. He could have very well afforded a maid to ease his wife's burden, like all his friends do, but NO!!! It was torture on his mind. She bore all this in silence for a span of fifteen years.
I am sure you readers will exasperatingly ask, "Why the hell was she waiting for so long, bearing all this?" Friends, Indian women are known for their sense of patience, their loyalty and perseverance in sticking on to a bond that they hold so sacred. But came a time when my dear friend saw the light of the day and she said to herself, " ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Now what triggered this sea change in her attitude? Just a simple statement from her husband when he exclaimed to her, that shook the day lights out of her system, " What makes you think that tying a mangalsutra around your neck, going around the sacred fire seven times, in the presence of two hundred people and uttering the Hindu slokas, makes you my wife? I have all these years looked upon you as just a W****.
Friends tell me, would any one of you withstand such an accusation coming from your husbands? Does this mean that whoever marries and has a Mangalsutra around their necks are all W*****?
Today, my friend is fighting it out legally at the Family Court, since the last twelve years, desperately seeking some relief from the Courts to look after herself, her two children's upbringing and also freedom from this man for a reasonable price. Here again, let me bring the fact to you that she is being harassed with adjournments as the Lawyers, and the Judges are all too happy being fed with funds from her husband to prolong the case as much as possible to deprive her of leading a respectable life in this world. Is it not a shame that a simple Maintenance relief from a Matrimonial Case takes twelve years to be granted by the family Court, and is still being adjourned with lame and flimsy excuses by the sitting judges??
So what is our judicial system doing about such cases? What are our great politicians doing for the cause of the common man, other than begging them for Votes? So, you see this is just one true story that has been brought to your notice. I am sure that there are countless such stories with more misery that any human can bear to hear, read or speak about.
This is just awareness brought to you about Indian Marriages and more so with people like my dear friend who are too good, too honest, and who just cannot be beaten to go on the wrong track. Yes, people like her suffer, because today's world accepts people with low morals, low credibility and people who have no humaneness in them. A Rich man's jokes are always very funny, even if you have to cry!!!
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