Torture when Glorified

As cited by Subhadra Bhikshu, " To be born is to suffer; to grow old is to suffer; to die is to suffer; to lose what is loved is to suffer; to be tied to what is not loved is to suffer; to endure what is distasteful is to suffer. In short, all the results of individuality, of seperate self-hood, necessarily involves pain or suffering.

Humanity either makes, or breeds or tolerates all its tortures, great or small. The problem arises when people in general practise self-denial, submission totally of one self, without realizing in which context they are practising. Many women have their own personal experiences about the scrifices they have made and the varied sufferings they have undergone in the family and in their community. It is a common practise for women to live in myths about their sufferings and sacrifices without giving it a thought as to whether their actions are justified in today's world. They do not realise that they have sacrificed themselves for something "wrong". They are inflicting pain on themselves in the name of religion and traditions.

The family is partly to be blamed for the woman's suffering as right from her birth she has been drilled to accept pain, suffering, torture in any form and degree, as her "Karma". There is open bias shown, amongst the sexes - A boy is glorified in the family and a girl is condemned right from her birth. The height of inhumanity comes when this little girl, a woman one fine day, leaves her parental home to cross the threshold and start a new life with a total stranger. A new home, new faces, new rules that she is not accustomed to. She is not given the opportunity to take her time in getting adjusted to her new environment.

She has to silently bear the harsh criticisms, the verbal and physical assaults from the womenfolk during the day,(for reasons of dowry) and at night she has to give her spouse all the comforts ever imaginable, in the name of religion and duty. It is therefore very necessary for today's woman to assert her rights in order to protect her clan from cruel, degrading and humiliating treatment meted out to her, thus protecting her dignity which is denied to her so often. Why does one forget that even after down-trodding a woman's self-esteem, yet she is sought after by a man for satiating his desires? What would become of the world if only man existed? Would the human race continue?

Women are compelled to marry at a very early age, before they are physically, mentally or emotionally mature. We read of so many women who are victims of incest, rape and domestic violence that has often resulted in trauma, or death. It is deplorable and pathetic! The laws fail to protect the victims or to punish the perpetrators. It takes a long time for the people to change their attitudes and their mentality towards women. It is necessary to create an awareness on the issue of violence against women, and men need to be taught to view women with dignity and honour.

I have come across instances in India where women are subjugated to the lowest level of humiliation. A married woman, who has put all her trust, and confidence in the man who vowed to be her husband, has let her down. The sacred seven steps in the Hindu marriage, the vows before the ceremonial fire, have no place for todays men. Why should the woman at every stage, always be at the receiving end? When a husband is dead the wife is subjugated to misery and is treated as an outcaste. Why is the same rule not applicable to the husband? This is shown on the idiot box in serials. Is this how the common man is being educated? Even the Hindu shastras are so biased.

When a wife loses the support of her husband, there is nothing left for her. To her, HIS support is the most important criteria in her life. She does not expect anything else from anybody. The law continues to turn a blind eye to the perpetrators of crime and atrocities on women. The extent of liberty that is given to the perpetrators is a "Bail". When a convict even after being proved guilty, is let off on a bail, it is a clear understanding to one and all that he has been given the permission and the exclusive freedom to go and finish the task that remains incomplete, prior to him being arrested. Such people should not be spared. We still live on the perception of "Ahimsa". Yes, I do agree it should be practiced, but let it be practiced where it is applicable. Is the practise going to help in the long run to mankind? Have each one of us ever given a thought to that?

The common man has come to such a stage where he feels comfortable taking the law into his own hands. The reason - We are having a very weak judicial system. Case after Case is adjourned, only to pile up with dust, with the rats eating the backlog of records with no judgements and waiting for justice. "Justice delayed is Justice denied, Justice with held is even worst than that". A case is not solved even after five to six decades. What must be the re-action of the common man who is the victim of such atrocities? He feels he has only one life to live, so why should he not make the best of it? I am sure I am not wrong in putting my thoughts across. This must be running in every body's mind.

How often have I prayed aloud,"Oh Credulity,thou hast as many ears as fame has tongues, open to every sound of truth, as falsehood". It is the gullible people who believe on slight evidence, with no evidence, or against evidence. The simple common man believes every word and finally lands into trouble.One cannot spare the luxury of believing that all things beautiful are what they seem.

I recall my mother often telling me,"Woman is the salvation or the destruction of the family. She carries its destiny in the folds of her mantle". I wish there was atleast one man of integrity, on whom we know we can thoroughly depend; who will stand firm when others fail; the friend, faithful and true; the adviser, honest and fearless; the adversary just and chivalrous.

The husband is ready to pawn his wife to make a living. Is this written in the Hindu shastra? Should faithfulness exist only in the wives and not in the husbands? Why are the Hindu wives being isolated from all that is respectful in the bonds of the sacred marriage vows? The husband is allowed to do anything he wishes with his wife, because he is the husband, and the law allows him to go scotfree. Why? Because he is a MAN! So this is what the shastras are all about? Men talk about worshipping the women folk in his house as Goddess Lakshmi, the harbinger of good fortune, and yet he goes about kicking his wife and selling her for flesh trade. Why? Because she is a WOMAN! Why this hippocracy? To him his mother is a woman, but not his wife. If his wife is not a woman then his mother also cannot be a woman. If his mother was not a woman, how did he land on earth? Is it written in the Hindu Shastra that everytime you kick your wife, you land straight into heaven to be glorified once again?

"Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved", as quoted by M.Henry