Dear Readers here is a great illustration of what Grace Means, which I would like to share with all of You.
The boy stood defiantly. "Go ahead, give it to me."
The principal looked at the young rebel and asked, "How many times have you been here?"
The child sneered rebelliously, "Apparently not enough."
"And you have been punished each time?" the principal responded.
"Yeah, I been punished, if that's what you want to call it. Go ahead I can take whatever you dish out. I always have."
"And no thought of your punishment enters your head the next time you decide to break the rules does it?"
"Nope, I do whatever I want to do. Ain't nothin’ you people gonna do to stop me either."
The principal looked at the teacher who stood nearby. "What did he do this time?"
"Fighting. He shoved Tommy's face into the sandbox."
The principal looked at the boy, "What did Tommy do to you?"
"Nothin’, I didn't like the way he was lookin' at me."
The teacher stiffened but a quick look from the principal stopped him as he quietly said, "Today, is the day you learn about grace."
"Grace? Isn't that what you old people do before you sit down to eat? I don't need none of your stinking' grace."
"Oh but you do." The principal studied the young man's face and whispered.
"Oh yes, you truly do..." The boy continued to glare as the principal continued, "Grace, in its short definition is unmerited favor. You can not earn it, it is a gift and is always freely given. It means that you will not be getting what you so richly deserve."
The boy looked puzzled. "You're not gonna whip me? You just gonna let me walk? The boy studied the face of the principal, "No punishment at all? Even though I socked Tommy and shoved his face into the sandbox?"
"Oh, there has to be punishment. What you did was wrong and there are always consequences to our actions. There will be punishment. Grace is not an excuse for doing wrong."
"I knew it," Sneered the boy as he held out his hands. "Let's get on with it."
The principal nodded toward the teacher. "Bring me the belt."
The teacher presented the belt to the principal. He carefully folded it in two and then handed it back to the teacher. He looked at the child and said. "I want you to count the blows."
The principal walked over to stand directly in front of the young man.
He gently reached out and folded the child's outstretched, expectant hands together and then turned to face the teacher with his own hands outstretched.
One quiet word came forth from his mouth. "Begin." The belt whipped down on the outstretched hands of the principal.
Crack! The young man jumped ten feet in the air. Shock registered across his face, "One" he whispered. Crack! "Two." His voice raised an octave.
Crack! "Three..." He couldn't believe this. Crack! "Four." Big tears welled up in the eyes of the rebel. "OK stop! That's enough. Stop!"
Crack!
Came the belt down on the hands of the principal. Crack! The child flinched with each blow, tears beginning to stream down his face.
Crack! Crack!
"No please", the former rebel begged, "Stop, I did it, I'm the one who deserves it. Stop! Please. Stop..."
Still the blows came, Crack! Crack! One after another. Finally it was over.
The principal stood with sweat glistening across his forehead and beads trickling down his face. Slowly he knelt down. He studied the young man for a second and then his swollen hands reached out to cradle the face of the weeping child.
"Grace..."
Grace came to you through the sacrifice of Jesus of Nazareth who at Calvary received the punishment that you and I deserve for our sin.
His back was whipped for the idols that we have bent our backs to.
Nails were driven through His sinless hands for the things that we have done with our hands.
Nails were driven through His feet for the paths that we have chosen to walk.
He wore a crown of thorns for the things we have given our minds to.
A lance was driven into his heart for the things we have held in our hearts.
Truly we have received God's grace.
G God's
R Righteousness
A At
C Christ's
E Expense!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Justice delayed is Justice denied BUT Justice witheld is Even Worse than that...
India has a melancholic underfunded court system, with its shortfall of judges and a plethora of corrupt and cynical lawyers. It is also encumbered with a prodigious backlog of 29.2 million cases pending across the Supreme Courts, the High Courts and the Lower courts. This huge backlog of unresolved cases, is due to the lack of a good proportion of judges. According to legal experts, the reasons for the current mess of the Indian judicial system is manifold.
First and foremost, poor pay for judges causes a huge problem. In terms of equality of pay, India's legal professionals are the worst off. Unsurprisingly, such poor pay scales have kindled corruption, widespread bribery and political interference which has denied so many people their right to a fair trial. Amplifying on reasons for the ever rising corruption in the Indian judiciary, the report says delays due to a shortage of judges and complex legal procedures which propells Indians towards undesirable measures to get justice.
"The loss of confidence in the judiciary is mainly due to the long incubation period of litigation, with millions of cases pending disposal ... This backlog leads to long adjournments and prompts people to pay to speed up the process ... The degree of delays and corruption has led to scepticism about the judicial system. People seek shortcuts through bribery and favors, leading to further unlawful behavior." Clearing backlog of cases is the biggest challenge for the judiciary, and India has the largest number of pending cases in the world, as said by the Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh . According to Andhra Pradesh High Court judge Justice V V Rao, the Indian judiciary would take 320 years to clear the backlog of 31.28 million cases pending in various courts including High courts in the country ( The Times of India, Bangalore, dated 7th March 2010). Now the point is can the litigants have that long a life-span?
Whatever India has achieved so far will not last long until we correct our present corruptive judicial system and clear the backlog of pending cases. The Common man is fast losing faith in our present legal system. It is a fact that in a number of cases, when both the Plaintiff and Defendant are dead and gone, the cases are kept in fine fettle eating into the taxpayers' money and deprecates the progress of our Nation. Most of the time both Plaintiff and the Complainant blame themselves for going to the court without suspecting the delays, costs and above all loss of peace of mind.
The justice system is corrupted, as it often gives people unfair or delayed trials and makes decisions, which are not in the national interest. Criminals are often let off lightly, or not imprisoned, while many innocent people are often detained for years. The rich take advantage of the high costs, duplication and retrials. There are conflicts of interests between judges and those controlling the system. People are wrongly convicted. Fear of vilification implants a fear in the media and the unfortunate witnesses who stay away from the courts .
Justice must be so Mandatory that it must create a "trepidation" in the minds of people to believe that all kind of crimes are punishable without fail. This panic will certainly make others not to commit any such crimes in future. The Laws should be very Punctilious, but not Pliable and should be applicable to one and all, without any bias as to the status, Caste and Creed. Why is it that the common citizen of our country thinks twice or rather umpteen number of times to commit the same crime on a foreign soil? Because he is dead sure that he will get caught and face a heavy penalty. Here, things have been taken for granted, because the delivery of justice is itself too slow and moreover, everyone knows if you pay a fat amount you are exculpated. Our laws should stop being so magnanimous about offering a bail to just any body.
As quoted by Abhraham Lincoln: "He reminds me of the man who murdered both his parents, and then, when sentence was about to be pronounced, pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan."
Till today, it is common knowledge that any one who is prosecuted does not feel any reproach. The victims of the crimes must feel satisfied with the terseness of the punishment as otherwise they themselves might try to take law into their own hands, and this could lead to "Recidivism."
Planning should be done to reduce the population of prisoners by systematic methods so that the costs of maintaining them can be controlled and reduced. Maintaining complete facts of crimes, prevention methods need to be looked into with an enterprising policy which will certainly give a good feed back on the needs of modifications on the current system of laws and punishment methods.As per the reports of some experts, Accountability also plays a great role. It is a pity that India has failed in its constitutional guarantee of ensuring speedy, accessible and accountable justice to its citizens. The reasons are not far to seek. The rule of law has become the casualty because the role of the Bar has been minimized. Judges alone cannot deliver justice but accountabilities must be accurately specified for judges, lawyers, paralegal staff as well as for both Plaintiff and Defendant. Files can be disposed off but justice cannot be delivered in the absence of the lawyers. The steps taken so far to expedite justice have proven worse than the crime itself.
Since "Justice delayed is justice denied", it is the duty of our Government to give confidence in the legal system. "Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; justice is what comes out of a courtroom," as told by Clarence Darrow. It is rightly said in one of the Chinese proverbs:"Where there are too many policemen, there is no liberty. Where there are too many soldiers, there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers, there is no justice."
In my perspective, Justice is exactly like a train which is nearly always late. The trouble with the laws these days is that criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. We surely do not give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give them plenty of publicity. it is true that the vices of the rich and the great are so often mistaken for a simple error; and those of the poor and lowly for crimes. Laws are like spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught.
Readers, don't you agree?
First and foremost, poor pay for judges causes a huge problem. In terms of equality of pay, India's legal professionals are the worst off. Unsurprisingly, such poor pay scales have kindled corruption, widespread bribery and political interference which has denied so many people their right to a fair trial. Amplifying on reasons for the ever rising corruption in the Indian judiciary, the report says delays due to a shortage of judges and complex legal procedures which propells Indians towards undesirable measures to get justice.
"The loss of confidence in the judiciary is mainly due to the long incubation period of litigation, with millions of cases pending disposal ... This backlog leads to long adjournments and prompts people to pay to speed up the process ... The degree of delays and corruption has led to scepticism about the judicial system. People seek shortcuts through bribery and favors, leading to further unlawful behavior." Clearing backlog of cases is the biggest challenge for the judiciary, and India has the largest number of pending cases in the world, as said by the Prime Minister, Manmohan Singh . According to Andhra Pradesh High Court judge Justice V V Rao, the Indian judiciary would take 320 years to clear the backlog of 31.28 million cases pending in various courts including High courts in the country ( The Times of India, Bangalore, dated 7th March 2010). Now the point is can the litigants have that long a life-span?
Whatever India has achieved so far will not last long until we correct our present corruptive judicial system and clear the backlog of pending cases. The Common man is fast losing faith in our present legal system. It is a fact that in a number of cases, when both the Plaintiff and Defendant are dead and gone, the cases are kept in fine fettle eating into the taxpayers' money and deprecates the progress of our Nation. Most of the time both Plaintiff and the Complainant blame themselves for going to the court without suspecting the delays, costs and above all loss of peace of mind.
The justice system is corrupted, as it often gives people unfair or delayed trials and makes decisions, which are not in the national interest. Criminals are often let off lightly, or not imprisoned, while many innocent people are often detained for years. The rich take advantage of the high costs, duplication and retrials. There are conflicts of interests between judges and those controlling the system. People are wrongly convicted. Fear of vilification implants a fear in the media and the unfortunate witnesses who stay away from the courts .
Justice must be so Mandatory that it must create a "trepidation" in the minds of people to believe that all kind of crimes are punishable without fail. This panic will certainly make others not to commit any such crimes in future. The Laws should be very Punctilious, but not Pliable and should be applicable to one and all, without any bias as to the status, Caste and Creed. Why is it that the common citizen of our country thinks twice or rather umpteen number of times to commit the same crime on a foreign soil? Because he is dead sure that he will get caught and face a heavy penalty. Here, things have been taken for granted, because the delivery of justice is itself too slow and moreover, everyone knows if you pay a fat amount you are exculpated. Our laws should stop being so magnanimous about offering a bail to just any body.
As quoted by Abhraham Lincoln: "He reminds me of the man who murdered both his parents, and then, when sentence was about to be pronounced, pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan."
Till today, it is common knowledge that any one who is prosecuted does not feel any reproach. The victims of the crimes must feel satisfied with the terseness of the punishment as otherwise they themselves might try to take law into their own hands, and this could lead to "Recidivism."
Planning should be done to reduce the population of prisoners by systematic methods so that the costs of maintaining them can be controlled and reduced. Maintaining complete facts of crimes, prevention methods need to be looked into with an enterprising policy which will certainly give a good feed back on the needs of modifications on the current system of laws and punishment methods.As per the reports of some experts, Accountability also plays a great role. It is a pity that India has failed in its constitutional guarantee of ensuring speedy, accessible and accountable justice to its citizens. The reasons are not far to seek. The rule of law has become the casualty because the role of the Bar has been minimized. Judges alone cannot deliver justice but accountabilities must be accurately specified for judges, lawyers, paralegal staff as well as for both Plaintiff and Defendant. Files can be disposed off but justice cannot be delivered in the absence of the lawyers. The steps taken so far to expedite justice have proven worse than the crime itself.
Since "Justice delayed is justice denied", it is the duty of our Government to give confidence in the legal system. "Justice has nothing to do with what goes on in a courtroom; justice is what comes out of a courtroom," as told by Clarence Darrow. It is rightly said in one of the Chinese proverbs:"Where there are too many policemen, there is no liberty. Where there are too many soldiers, there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers, there is no justice."
In my perspective, Justice is exactly like a train which is nearly always late. The trouble with the laws these days is that criminals know their rights better than their wrongs. We surely do not give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give them plenty of publicity. it is true that the vices of the rich and the great are so often mistaken for a simple error; and those of the poor and lowly for crimes. Laws are like spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught.
Readers, don't you agree?
Friday, March 5, 2010
Why do People Commit Larceny?
Last week, my elder child had just left home for work and in a span of about half an hour, I get a call from her, totally upset that her wallet had been picked in the bus. She had no cash to come home, and it can be anyone's guess what a person in that situation would do instead of weeping. The reason was that she just needed to talk to someone and to her, her mom was the best person at that moment. She had hard cash to be paid at the grocery with a few other cards that were important. And Sentiments!!!
It was baseless to sit and ponder as to why she got robbed. When I pointed out that may be the pilferer wanted cash urgently to settle some emergency in his house, my dear child burst out, "Does he know that even we have emergencies?" Now who thinks of all that. I had to appease her, that it could have gone for a good cause, so just forget it. Now why do people go to such depths of crime?
It is immoral & wrong, but some would say that it was a necessary way of life. We ask ourselves why someone would take something that doesn't belong to them. We also ask ourselves how people are able to go on day by day knowing that they have swindled someone or some company of money and profits earned by hard work. Well no one is accountable to that question; there are only things that we can postulate, may be a reason for someone to want to do these things. The first of many reasons is for money.
The second most common reason people commit such a crime is because it is a mania. They can't help themselves and they steal just to get famous. Like, when a young man was caught in the act of stealing an ordinary hen and prosecuted, the first thing asked of him by the Officer was, "Why did you do this?" To which our hero exclaimed, " Because I wanted my small name to come on the front page of the Big leading newspapers all over the town." This type of thief will take anything he can get his hands on because he just does it to see if he can get away. He wants to become a celebrity overnight. A "Murgi - Chor."
Last but not the least the third most common reason that people steal is for subsistence. This type of thief steals things because he needs to survive. Most of the time, thieves take things like clothing for their children or medicine, and sometimes food. Such people have no conscience. They are in reality impecunious to get what they urgently need at that precise moment. This allows them to steal and not feel guilty about it. They actually believe that they are doing nothing wrong.
Some Steal because they feel entitled to have the things they can’t afford. Many pilferers feel they are entitled to the good things in life. However, they do not understand how to get those things for themselves. This is one reason stealing is appealing to them. Some steal out of jealousy. They see their friends having certain things that they can not afford and stealing may be the only way they think they could ever have these things. It is similar to "Keeping up with the Jonesses."
"For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil" 1 Timothy 6:10., As read in the Holy Bible. The very poor steal out of poverty and difficult living. The rich corrupt government officials steal in order to gain abundance of life. They are exonerated with the power of their money, as soon as they get an innocent scape-goat to carry the can for them. In private businesses, stealing is not rampant as in government offices. Government pilferers are worse since they stash away the people's money not only in millions but beyond any estimate! Thieves in government do not really fear God. They know the existence of God but still continue committing sins and stealing.
We have kleptomaniacs who are well-to-do people but they love to pick choice items in department stores or rich homes where they are invited as guests, because they are paranoid. I must say they do things in "Real Style!" But government officials who steal the people's money on a large scale know that stealing is a sin and are committing economic sabotage. Yet, they do not feel guilty about it.
India is a country with a vast population living in penury. It is not surprising to see people turning into Misanthropes. The people to be blamed for this is none other than the affluent class of people who have this phobia for accumulating and hoarding just about anything that their eyes feast on. They seldom have the gift of being munificent should any occasion arise. Their behaviour is equivalent to that of the fear of being faced by the wrath of nature all of a sudden with practically no means of anything to survive on. Why do they forget that when they came into this world they came with empty hands and while departing from this world they will be returning empty-handed too!! God does not want to see any 'Refugee Camps up there', I am sure.
It is the society that prepares the crime; while the criminal commits it. As Napolean cites: " The contagion of crime is like that of the plague. Criminals collected together corrupt each other. They are worse than ever when, at the termination of their punishment, they return to society." Man's crimes are his worst enemies, following him like shadows, till they drive his steps into the pit he dug.
It was baseless to sit and ponder as to why she got robbed. When I pointed out that may be the pilferer wanted cash urgently to settle some emergency in his house, my dear child burst out, "Does he know that even we have emergencies?" Now who thinks of all that. I had to appease her, that it could have gone for a good cause, so just forget it. Now why do people go to such depths of crime?
It is immoral & wrong, but some would say that it was a necessary way of life. We ask ourselves why someone would take something that doesn't belong to them. We also ask ourselves how people are able to go on day by day knowing that they have swindled someone or some company of money and profits earned by hard work. Well no one is accountable to that question; there are only things that we can postulate, may be a reason for someone to want to do these things. The first of many reasons is for money.
The second most common reason people commit such a crime is because it is a mania. They can't help themselves and they steal just to get famous. Like, when a young man was caught in the act of stealing an ordinary hen and prosecuted, the first thing asked of him by the Officer was, "Why did you do this?" To which our hero exclaimed, " Because I wanted my small name to come on the front page of the Big leading newspapers all over the town." This type of thief will take anything he can get his hands on because he just does it to see if he can get away. He wants to become a celebrity overnight. A "Murgi - Chor."
Last but not the least the third most common reason that people steal is for subsistence. This type of thief steals things because he needs to survive. Most of the time, thieves take things like clothing for their children or medicine, and sometimes food. Such people have no conscience. They are in reality impecunious to get what they urgently need at that precise moment. This allows them to steal and not feel guilty about it. They actually believe that they are doing nothing wrong.
Some Steal because they feel entitled to have the things they can’t afford. Many pilferers feel they are entitled to the good things in life. However, they do not understand how to get those things for themselves. This is one reason stealing is appealing to them. Some steal out of jealousy. They see their friends having certain things that they can not afford and stealing may be the only way they think they could ever have these things. It is similar to "Keeping up with the Jonesses."
"For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil" 1 Timothy 6:10., As read in the Holy Bible. The very poor steal out of poverty and difficult living. The rich corrupt government officials steal in order to gain abundance of life. They are exonerated with the power of their money, as soon as they get an innocent scape-goat to carry the can for them. In private businesses, stealing is not rampant as in government offices. Government pilferers are worse since they stash away the people's money not only in millions but beyond any estimate! Thieves in government do not really fear God. They know the existence of God but still continue committing sins and stealing.
We have kleptomaniacs who are well-to-do people but they love to pick choice items in department stores or rich homes where they are invited as guests, because they are paranoid. I must say they do things in "Real Style!" But government officials who steal the people's money on a large scale know that stealing is a sin and are committing economic sabotage. Yet, they do not feel guilty about it.
India is a country with a vast population living in penury. It is not surprising to see people turning into Misanthropes. The people to be blamed for this is none other than the affluent class of people who have this phobia for accumulating and hoarding just about anything that their eyes feast on. They seldom have the gift of being munificent should any occasion arise. Their behaviour is equivalent to that of the fear of being faced by the wrath of nature all of a sudden with practically no means of anything to survive on. Why do they forget that when they came into this world they came with empty hands and while departing from this world they will be returning empty-handed too!! God does not want to see any 'Refugee Camps up there', I am sure.
It is the society that prepares the crime; while the criminal commits it. As Napolean cites: " The contagion of crime is like that of the plague. Criminals collected together corrupt each other. They are worse than ever when, at the termination of their punishment, they return to society." Man's crimes are his worst enemies, following him like shadows, till they drive his steps into the pit he dug.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
When You Are Devoted to Money...
Dear Readers, what happens when you are so devoted to money?
Well, I would like to share this poem by David Kessel with You all.
Devote Your Life to Money ...
Oh, money, the life-giving juice of society!
It brings us its blessings of every variety,
It softens the blows that lifetime delivers,
It favors the brave and it crowns achievers.
It renders us free from oppression by jerks,
From mockings, and putdowns, and scoldings,and smirks.
It lets us buy tickets and travel away
From where we're not welcome but are forced to just stay.
From creditors' letters and big ugly urbs,
From all that don't matter, from stuff that disturbs,
To wide sandy beaches and azure blue waters,
Away from the smoke of ten million motors.
With money it all starts to fall into place-
No longer respect is what you have to chase.
It follows you like an afternoon shadow
Thank money, it makes you a prince from a padow.
With money, all people will treat you much better,
As you are no longer society's debtor.
Sweet smiles on you they will now bestow,
Obsequious looks in their eyes then will glow.
And women forgetting your age and your weight,
Your looks and your height and your bald, shining pate,
Will wink and remark how handsome you are
For, in their minds, you are now a star.
Oh, how pathetic society is!
A "Miss" is now where there used to be "Ms."
For quickly they learned that you've got all this dough,
And then they appear from above and below.
For freedom, for joy and enjoyment of senses,
Don't waste precious time chasing empty pretenses.
Just line up your pockets with luscious green money
And soon you'll be hugging a cute Playboy bunny.
As long as you're here on our green Earth,
And want to be living in freedom and mirth,
Devote your existence to dollar and pound
For cash makes the world go smoothly around.
May be some do agree!!
Well, I would like to share this poem by David Kessel with You all.
Devote Your Life to Money ...
Oh, money, the life-giving juice of society!
It brings us its blessings of every variety,
It softens the blows that lifetime delivers,
It favors the brave and it crowns achievers.
It renders us free from oppression by jerks,
From mockings, and putdowns, and scoldings,and smirks.
It lets us buy tickets and travel away
From where we're not welcome but are forced to just stay.
From creditors' letters and big ugly urbs,
From all that don't matter, from stuff that disturbs,
To wide sandy beaches and azure blue waters,
Away from the smoke of ten million motors.
With money it all starts to fall into place-
No longer respect is what you have to chase.
It follows you like an afternoon shadow
Thank money, it makes you a prince from a padow.
With money, all people will treat you much better,
As you are no longer society's debtor.
Sweet smiles on you they will now bestow,
Obsequious looks in their eyes then will glow.
And women forgetting your age and your weight,
Your looks and your height and your bald, shining pate,
Will wink and remark how handsome you are
For, in their minds, you are now a star.
Oh, how pathetic society is!
A "Miss" is now where there used to be "Ms."
For quickly they learned that you've got all this dough,
And then they appear from above and below.
For freedom, for joy and enjoyment of senses,
Don't waste precious time chasing empty pretenses.
Just line up your pockets with luscious green money
And soon you'll be hugging a cute Playboy bunny.
As long as you're here on our green Earth,
And want to be living in freedom and mirth,
Devote your existence to dollar and pound
For cash makes the world go smoothly around.
May be some do agree!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Globalization in Today's World
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This message is sent to you by an Indian,
using Bill Gates 's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant,
transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friend, is called Globalization.
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer:
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This message is sent to you by an Indian,
using Bill Gates 's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant,
transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friend, is called Globalization.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage
1. Love Marriage resembles procedure programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate that we like.
Arranged Marriages are similar to Object Oriented Programming Approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
2. In Love Marriages, Family System hangs because Hardware (called Parents) is not responding.
In Arranged Marriages, the Family system is compatible with the Hardware (Parents).
3. In Love Marriages, You are the Project-leader, so you are responsible for the implementation and Execution of PROJECT - "MARRIED LIFE."
In Arranged Marriages, You are a team member under the Project leader (Parents), so they are responsible for the successful execution of project Married Life.
4. In Love Marriages, Client expectations include exciting features such as: Spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
In Arranged Marriages, all these features are covered in the SRS (System required Specification) as required features.
5. Love Marriage is like WINDOWS, beautiful N attractive ..... Yet one never knows when it will crash.....
Arranged Marriage is like UNIX..... boring n colorless..... still extremely reliable n robust.
"Wish all Readers A Very Happy Wedded Life!"
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Story of Prapurma
The young mother desperately tries to fill the void in the children’s life, a void that she is afraid she may never be able to fill. The task she faces is formidable. Not only must she cope with the mental trauma, but also financial problems brought in the wake of a seperation. Added to this, her children look to her for support and she must smile and be brave. ‘I cannot let them see my despair,’ she says. ‘I have to keep up the brave front act.’
This is the story of a young woman I still keep in touch with, all through her flight and miseries. Many Indian women (even from affluent families) find themselves without a roof over their heads once they are thrown out of the house, or if they have walked out of their marital home, in sheer desperation, unable to handle the violence wrought on them by their husbands, and in-laws, or waiting for the legal procedure ( which in India can continue even after the Petitioner's death, or like the Adv. on the T.V. " Jeevan Das ko Kadi se kadi sazaa di Jaaye...").The in-laws, the brother and the father, mother-in-law, sis-in-law, all could deny her a
right to a human being’s basic need – shelter.
She, let us name her as "Prapurma". Yes, she had a not so comfortable childhood, being born as the youngest of three children to her parents who came from the bourgeois family. She was fairly good-looking and given the chance, she could outsmart her older siblings. But fate had other plans for her. Her mother always made it a point to compare her to the smartness of her older siblings, the most coming from her elder sister. Right from the beginning, she felt there was stiff competition where Prapurma was concerned, so she took great pains at every opportunity to pull her little sister down to the lowest levels of humiliation, wherever possible. She was a Top-class 'Braggart.' The elder brother was too busy in his studies so he was totally ignorant of even bothering to find out what was going in his youngest sister's mental attitude.
The time came when the elder sister was married to a well-settled family. Here again, the younger sister was treated like the maid servant and no one bothered to find out the relationship of Prapurma with that of the new bride. It was only when one of the guests found her standing near the gate trying to keep the guests comfortable, questioned her, she answered defiantly, "I am the bride's younger sister." The next question from the guest was shot like a piercing arrow," But why are you dressed in an ordinary nylon saree?" Again, with her held high, the little girl replied,"Because clothes do not make a man, but the honesty and charisma of the person is what counts in the long run." Even here, the little girl was made to bear humiliation by her elder sister in the presence of all her in-laws, "Do not steal my husband, he is mine and only mine." All this was borne by Prapurma in perfect silence and unshed tears.
Days passed by and at every given opportunity the elder sister made it a point to come to her maternal home on some pretext or the other to vent her feelings to her mother on her new marital home. Hours would pass on to eternity with both the mother and daughter locked up in the room, in hushed whispers, and Prapurma was never allowed to get involved in any of these discussions. She was treated like an outsider by both the mother and the sister. Slowly, a day came when gifts started pouring in from the elder sister's marital home, and the mother was just too happy getting materialistic and the result was that the elder sister was placed on a grand pedestal. So now her word over any final decision in the parental home was FINAL! She was treated as the DEVI, Incarnate! Why? Because she kept silencing all with her money and her sharp tongue. She and her great husband were just about hidebound!
When the time came for Prapurma's marriage, the groom was finally chosen by the elder son-in-law. No care was taken to verify the facts of this rascal's family background. Again ask Why? Because the decision was finally made by the High Command and that's it. Period! Soon after the marriage, Prapurma was exposed to the bare and ugly truth about her newly acquired status. For a woman it is not only the daily financial struggle, but also the myriad little daily domestic tasks which drain her both physically and mentally. In a span of two years shegave birth to two children, both healthy, but her body could just not take it. One can take it for granted that the husband was over-sexed and whatever one may feel like thinking. She found that she did not get enough time with her children, as hiring servants was totally Taboo with her husband saying, "My mother did all the house-work by herself, and she bore eight children, so
what's your problem?" That mother must have been a Super woman, who at the drop of a hat got pregnant even if her husband just winked at her. Indian mothers-in-law are very famous for being "Polemical."
Many Indian women, even when married, have to function as single mothers, as she has to bring up her children single-handedly. As a result, Prapurma was left with very little time for herself. Her husband was too languid to accept moral responsibility both as a father and as a husband, because he was working over-time with a harem that he calls it, other than the official work that he was employed. When encountered by Prapurma, the husband was in an equivocate frame of mind. When this was brought to the notice of the in-laws by Prapurma, her mother-in-law was quick to retort, "After all he is a man, keep quiet, or else he shall lose his masculinity." Great, talk about the will-power in a man and compare that to that of the woman!! Her dreams of someone empathising with her grief from her Paternal home was met with a cold shoulder as they treated her as a "PARIAH" now. Her brother was too busy with his family, the elder sister considered it below her dignity to even find out what was happening in her younger sister's
married life, and her parents were too busy socialising and keeping up the protocol in their elder daughter's high status family. Talk about the Nuclear Indian family bonds, family roots etc, etc, Blah, Blah, Blah!!
By now Prapurma had begun to slowly languish, with the result she began being reticent on just trivial issues. The reason was, because she found that any talk with her husband was always ending in a Tirade.
He always had a strong adulation for another man's wife. He would never take into consideration his wife's accomplishments or her talents or even try to laud her intrinsic capabilities. She was slowly getting herself prepared for all these adversities. For her, marital relations, were itself esoteric. It was wrong to say that she was obtuse. She was a lonely child with no one to advocate her feelings. She was cornered with no where to go. She was and even now is a very affable woman. Getting married has lost her identity altogether. Whenever her husband's friends used any form of eulogy with regard to her looks, her cooking or even on her home management, she had this look of fear that was portent. She was sure to get smashed that night by her husband. She lost all the alacrity she had as a new bride trying to win her husband's attention. Should the bruises on her body or face be visible to anyone, her husband was quick with his choice of euphemism. She was expected to always be the chaste, tractable wife. Here was she "Sleeping
with the Enemy."
Things came to a head when one night she was asked by her husband to be the sleeping partner for his friends. She refused outright and then came the hurricane of blows, to be witnessed by the two young children. Enough is Enough, screamed the children and then it was decided to plan an escape. But how? Summer vacations came and on pleading, the husband was finally reconciled to sending her and the children to her parental home. In the short span after her marriage, Prapurma lost her father. Her mother was all alone. Hearing of the entire story, the mother finally decided to keep Prapurma and the kids back.
Come what may we shall survive even on ordinary rice gruel. The case was filed for a fair amount of Maintenance, and a divorce. The husband never allowed anyone to rest in peace. He used his power of money to bribe everyone left, right and centre to keep the adjournments at the fast mode. He even went far and wide to use every ominous tactic up his sleeve.
Our Judiciary is such that even a dead corpse will open its mouth for the hard cash. That is the judicial system in India. The ever hungry dogs who enjoy living on someone else's charity and also feed their family with it. Our country is so steeped in depravity!!! Every one has such lofty ideals in their goddamn heads. Is this the sort of exemplary set by today's Netas to the younger generation?
Here, in her maternal home, Prapurma was made to do all the household chores, as directed by the elder sister. The mother was just a puppet. The reason given was that things do not come for free here. You want us to look after your children and you, you have to sweat it out for a morsel of food. Prapurma realized it very fast: "Beggars Cannot Be Choosers!" But this life was better than sleeping around with a bunch of hoodlums. In India society looks harshly upon divorced women, invariably blaming them for the break-up. They make her life look as though it was totally ignominious. ‘Women who have the courage to walk out of a marriage when ill-treated should actually be admired, but instead they are looked upon as women who could not make their marriage work.’ C'mon, why cannot they be pragmatic?
Readers, you must be wondering why was Prapurma not looking for a job outside her home? Good Question! The answer lies in the attitudes of her family members and her health. Prapurma was taken advantage of her sense of Altruism. All were happy to get everything at the flick of their fingers, day and night without shelling out hard cash. Her chances of getting a job was met with cold reception from her mother who wanted a full-time sevant to cater to her needs. Another point was her poor health and the rules of employment in India where they do not take in anyone who has crossed 45 years with no previous experience of any job. So that's it. You have the answer!! Prapurma is now allergic to the opulent society. People like Prapurma face hostility from even her family members.
Prapurma was brought up as she was on the ideals of motherhood and the sanctity of marriage, she could not cope with the break-up initially. She was totally dependent upon her husband in every way, financially and emotionally. To her he was the world, on whom she lay all her trust. He was her infrastructure! It is very difficult for her to handle the loneliness, and then the despair of being rejected by her own family.
Today, Prapurma is still waiting in vain for the judgment order that is grounded since the last twelve years. Will she ever get her freedom? Will she be able to live her youthful life again that was lost? If so, when????
She lives just for her children, to whom she is both a father and a mother. Her mother is ageing fast and no one knows when her call might come. After that what will happen to Prapurma? She does not have a roof over her head. There is no guarantee that her kin will look after her. And the Court Case that is pending....
Prapurma ko Khadi Se Khadi saaza Di Jaaye!!! like the advt. on the T.V.
Readers, there will definitely be plenty of Prapurmas all around you. But, you take Care! Do not throw your husband or wife for any flimsy reason. Even if it means your harlot can give you much more satisfaction than your wife. Or else for God's sake do not get married. Remain a bachelor for the rest of your life! Please do not break Families where young children exist.
This is the story of a young woman I still keep in touch with, all through her flight and miseries. Many Indian women (even from affluent families) find themselves without a roof over their heads once they are thrown out of the house, or if they have walked out of their marital home, in sheer desperation, unable to handle the violence wrought on them by their husbands, and in-laws, or waiting for the legal procedure ( which in India can continue even after the Petitioner's death, or like the Adv. on the T.V. " Jeevan Das ko Kadi se kadi sazaa di Jaaye...").The in-laws, the brother and the father, mother-in-law, sis-in-law, all could deny her a
right to a human being’s basic need – shelter.
She, let us name her as "Prapurma". Yes, she had a not so comfortable childhood, being born as the youngest of three children to her parents who came from the bourgeois family. She was fairly good-looking and given the chance, she could outsmart her older siblings. But fate had other plans for her. Her mother always made it a point to compare her to the smartness of her older siblings, the most coming from her elder sister. Right from the beginning, she felt there was stiff competition where Prapurma was concerned, so she took great pains at every opportunity to pull her little sister down to the lowest levels of humiliation, wherever possible. She was a Top-class 'Braggart.' The elder brother was too busy in his studies so he was totally ignorant of even bothering to find out what was going in his youngest sister's mental attitude.
The time came when the elder sister was married to a well-settled family. Here again, the younger sister was treated like the maid servant and no one bothered to find out the relationship of Prapurma with that of the new bride. It was only when one of the guests found her standing near the gate trying to keep the guests comfortable, questioned her, she answered defiantly, "I am the bride's younger sister." The next question from the guest was shot like a piercing arrow," But why are you dressed in an ordinary nylon saree?" Again, with her held high, the little girl replied,"Because clothes do not make a man, but the honesty and charisma of the person is what counts in the long run." Even here, the little girl was made to bear humiliation by her elder sister in the presence of all her in-laws, "Do not steal my husband, he is mine and only mine." All this was borne by Prapurma in perfect silence and unshed tears.
Days passed by and at every given opportunity the elder sister made it a point to come to her maternal home on some pretext or the other to vent her feelings to her mother on her new marital home. Hours would pass on to eternity with both the mother and daughter locked up in the room, in hushed whispers, and Prapurma was never allowed to get involved in any of these discussions. She was treated like an outsider by both the mother and the sister. Slowly, a day came when gifts started pouring in from the elder sister's marital home, and the mother was just too happy getting materialistic and the result was that the elder sister was placed on a grand pedestal. So now her word over any final decision in the parental home was FINAL! She was treated as the DEVI, Incarnate! Why? Because she kept silencing all with her money and her sharp tongue. She and her great husband were just about hidebound!
When the time came for Prapurma's marriage, the groom was finally chosen by the elder son-in-law. No care was taken to verify the facts of this rascal's family background. Again ask Why? Because the decision was finally made by the High Command and that's it. Period! Soon after the marriage, Prapurma was exposed to the bare and ugly truth about her newly acquired status. For a woman it is not only the daily financial struggle, but also the myriad little daily domestic tasks which drain her both physically and mentally. In a span of two years shegave birth to two children, both healthy, but her body could just not take it. One can take it for granted that the husband was over-sexed and whatever one may feel like thinking. She found that she did not get enough time with her children, as hiring servants was totally Taboo with her husband saying, "My mother did all the house-work by herself, and she bore eight children, so
what's your problem?" That mother must have been a Super woman, who at the drop of a hat got pregnant even if her husband just winked at her. Indian mothers-in-law are very famous for being "Polemical."
Many Indian women, even when married, have to function as single mothers, as she has to bring up her children single-handedly. As a result, Prapurma was left with very little time for herself. Her husband was too languid to accept moral responsibility both as a father and as a husband, because he was working over-time with a harem that he calls it, other than the official work that he was employed. When encountered by Prapurma, the husband was in an equivocate frame of mind. When this was brought to the notice of the in-laws by Prapurma, her mother-in-law was quick to retort, "After all he is a man, keep quiet, or else he shall lose his masculinity." Great, talk about the will-power in a man and compare that to that of the woman!! Her dreams of someone empathising with her grief from her Paternal home was met with a cold shoulder as they treated her as a "PARIAH" now. Her brother was too busy with his family, the elder sister considered it below her dignity to even find out what was happening in her younger sister's
married life, and her parents were too busy socialising and keeping up the protocol in their elder daughter's high status family. Talk about the Nuclear Indian family bonds, family roots etc, etc, Blah, Blah, Blah!!
By now Prapurma had begun to slowly languish, with the result she began being reticent on just trivial issues. The reason was, because she found that any talk with her husband was always ending in a Tirade.
He always had a strong adulation for another man's wife. He would never take into consideration his wife's accomplishments or her talents or even try to laud her intrinsic capabilities. She was slowly getting herself prepared for all these adversities. For her, marital relations, were itself esoteric. It was wrong to say that she was obtuse. She was a lonely child with no one to advocate her feelings. She was cornered with no where to go. She was and even now is a very affable woman. Getting married has lost her identity altogether. Whenever her husband's friends used any form of eulogy with regard to her looks, her cooking or even on her home management, she had this look of fear that was portent. She was sure to get smashed that night by her husband. She lost all the alacrity she had as a new bride trying to win her husband's attention. Should the bruises on her body or face be visible to anyone, her husband was quick with his choice of euphemism. She was expected to always be the chaste, tractable wife. Here was she "Sleeping
with the Enemy."
Things came to a head when one night she was asked by her husband to be the sleeping partner for his friends. She refused outright and then came the hurricane of blows, to be witnessed by the two young children. Enough is Enough, screamed the children and then it was decided to plan an escape. But how? Summer vacations came and on pleading, the husband was finally reconciled to sending her and the children to her parental home. In the short span after her marriage, Prapurma lost her father. Her mother was all alone. Hearing of the entire story, the mother finally decided to keep Prapurma and the kids back.
Come what may we shall survive even on ordinary rice gruel. The case was filed for a fair amount of Maintenance, and a divorce. The husband never allowed anyone to rest in peace. He used his power of money to bribe everyone left, right and centre to keep the adjournments at the fast mode. He even went far and wide to use every ominous tactic up his sleeve.
Our Judiciary is such that even a dead corpse will open its mouth for the hard cash. That is the judicial system in India. The ever hungry dogs who enjoy living on someone else's charity and also feed their family with it. Our country is so steeped in depravity!!! Every one has such lofty ideals in their goddamn heads. Is this the sort of exemplary set by today's Netas to the younger generation?
Here, in her maternal home, Prapurma was made to do all the household chores, as directed by the elder sister. The mother was just a puppet. The reason given was that things do not come for free here. You want us to look after your children and you, you have to sweat it out for a morsel of food. Prapurma realized it very fast: "Beggars Cannot Be Choosers!" But this life was better than sleeping around with a bunch of hoodlums. In India society looks harshly upon divorced women, invariably blaming them for the break-up. They make her life look as though it was totally ignominious. ‘Women who have the courage to walk out of a marriage when ill-treated should actually be admired, but instead they are looked upon as women who could not make their marriage work.’ C'mon, why cannot they be pragmatic?
Readers, you must be wondering why was Prapurma not looking for a job outside her home? Good Question! The answer lies in the attitudes of her family members and her health. Prapurma was taken advantage of her sense of Altruism. All were happy to get everything at the flick of their fingers, day and night without shelling out hard cash. Her chances of getting a job was met with cold reception from her mother who wanted a full-time sevant to cater to her needs. Another point was her poor health and the rules of employment in India where they do not take in anyone who has crossed 45 years with no previous experience of any job. So that's it. You have the answer!! Prapurma is now allergic to the opulent society. People like Prapurma face hostility from even her family members.
Prapurma was brought up as she was on the ideals of motherhood and the sanctity of marriage, she could not cope with the break-up initially. She was totally dependent upon her husband in every way, financially and emotionally. To her he was the world, on whom she lay all her trust. He was her infrastructure! It is very difficult for her to handle the loneliness, and then the despair of being rejected by her own family.
Today, Prapurma is still waiting in vain for the judgment order that is grounded since the last twelve years. Will she ever get her freedom? Will she be able to live her youthful life again that was lost? If so, when????
She lives just for her children, to whom she is both a father and a mother. Her mother is ageing fast and no one knows when her call might come. After that what will happen to Prapurma? She does not have a roof over her head. There is no guarantee that her kin will look after her. And the Court Case that is pending....
Prapurma ko Khadi Se Khadi saaza Di Jaaye!!! like the advt. on the T.V.
Readers, there will definitely be plenty of Prapurmas all around you. But, you take Care! Do not throw your husband or wife for any flimsy reason. Even if it means your harlot can give you much more satisfaction than your wife. Or else for God's sake do not get married. Remain a bachelor for the rest of your life! Please do not break Families where young children exist.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)